I need to Confess

The practice of Confession is conducted between a confessor and a priest, sometimes within a confessional box or booth. But I am using my blog.

Yes, its time I should come clean about my guilty pleasures. Some are cool, some are not. Some are masculine, some are not. Some are something I am proud to admit, some are not. These are the first 101 Confessions of my sin, or at least of sinfulness.

Confession #9
When I was a child, my dad would walk me to school. I would hop over the cracks. He told me “If I hop the crack I could break my knees”. I loved you so much. I made sure never to step on a crack.

Now I make sure I step on every crack.
But I know it won’t do anything.
I do it just to love you.

Confession #14
In my childhood, I punctured many vehicles in and around my apartment. Apology to all those neighbours who; didn't returned my cricket ball, said no for loud singing, showed me attitude, asked there kid not to play with me and said I am spoiled and a poor student too.

Confession #21
I loved many girls during my short life, but never said to anyone. I always guessed they didn't love me. It’s the worst feeling in the world to love someone and know they do not love you back. My heart still hurts.

Confession #29
In the childhood I poured two gallons of old gasoline into my backyard. I’ve done it after too... and after too. I know its bad for the environment but I did it. Actually, that gasoline was from our neighbour Thakur uncle's car. Because he told me not to touch his car.

Confession #36
I got lots-&-lots of friend in my life. Thank you to all friends, for being the best friends I could ask for, and for being random and funny and caring in your ways. You were such a best friend who single-handedly raises my family's suspicions about my sexual orientation. Please keep distance from me now.

Confession #41
I miss one summer, when she came to my neighbourhood for summer break, she used to stop-by with ice-cream or coffee or nothing at all, just for 5 or 10 minutes, just to say hello to me. Then she left after summer break. I don’t need ice-cream or coffee or 10 minutes or even 5. I just need Hello again.

Confession #50
In last few years, many times I wanted to kill myself & the reason I haven’t tried is because I know there exist some people in this world, who would kill themself if I did.

Confession #66
When I got admission in engg, it was like; once in my life im happy. I have started a whole new academy, new friends, and new area to explore. I have got more opportunities then I had before and do you know what? I am not really that bothered I have left my childhood friends behind. Yes this may seem self-centred but these new college people are so mature and with them I had chance to grow up and become an adult.

Confession #78
 To the last girl I liked; I wish I could tell her how perfect she is, and I wish it could be me who ends up being with her... I wish I could feel the warmth of her hugs. I think I love her.

Confession #98
I am lazy. I want a magic carpet or a genie in a bottle. So I wouldn't have to come downstairs to grab a coke or pizza from refrigerator.

Confession #101
Sorry to all my Project Managers for coming late everyday.

- Nirnay

Bollywood version of Movie Inception

Name: Name issue is still open and following are some suggestions:
Shola aur Inception
Inception : Some dreams lie
Om Inception Om
Inception is King
De Dana Dan Inception
Mey, mera Inception aur vo
Shootout in Inception
Ram Gopal Verma ka Inception
Ajab Inception Ki Ghazab Kahani
Inception-e-Ishq
Hum Inception dekh chuke sanam
Inception kiya to darna kya
Chak-de Inception

Movie starts with Song:
Neend mey kya hey, dream
Dream mey kya hey, idea
idea kya hey, inception heyyyyy


Background
A dark-skinned Dubai-based criminal Don Uday Shetty (Nana Patekar), has a fair-skinned sister Sanjana Shetty (Deepika Padukone). They are extremely rich and influential family. Don wants Sanjana to get married into a well-to-do family.

Dev Cobb (Sunil Shetty) is very poor and often cannot afford to cloth himself properly. He lives with his old blind mom in a village. He sees Sanjana during a football match between Mumbai and Mohan Bugan. He falls in love at first sight. With and after several denials from Sanjana, she is also in love with Dev. They decide to get married.

When Sanjana puts forward the proposal of marrying Dev Cobb, her don brother threatens to kill Dev if sanjana keeps seeing him. He wants Sanjana to marry Ram (Akashya Kumar) in Delhi, the only son of a famous neurosurgeon Dr. Ghungroo (Paresh Rawal).

When Sanjana explains the situation to Dev Cobb, he discloses the greatest secret of his life. Dev's father who was a professor of Psychology had invented a mind stealing and idea implanting technique known as "Inception". He had also taught the technique to Dev. Dev then takes Sanjana to the basement of his house, where Dev's father went in the dream world and trapped in limbo, a world of unconstructed dreams.

He thinks that he can incept the idea that Dev is the best guy for Sanjana in Don's mind.


Plot:
Hero carries a spinning top to determine whether he is awake or dreaming: in dreams, the top spins unceasingly, whereas in the real world it will eventually topple.

Hero reveals to his friends, that he is auditioning the team to perform the far more difficult act of inception: using dreams to implant an idea in Don's mind.

The objective of the inception is to convince don for marry heroin with Dev Cobb. Hero took "B'ful item dancer" (MalikaArora), a forger who can change appearance and design inside dreams and a sedative chemist friend Jay (Amitabh Bacchan).

Hero and the team share the flight with don back to Delhi (where he is going to talk to reach guy for his sister's marriage) and drug him.

They enter in hero's dream, a rainy downtown area, and kidnap don. However, they come under attack by don's trained subconscious projections, and hero is badly injured.

They immediately took a van and are sedated to enter the second dream (item dancer's), a dream within a dream, which takes place inside a hotel, where item dancer attracts don. A member stays behind at each level with synchronized kicks: Chemist friend driving the van off a bridge, Item Dance sending an elevator containing the team's sleeping bodies upwards in a zero gravity sequence.

Deep in the third-level dream, after flipping coin with same head both side Chemist friend Jay is killed by Don's army and goes into limbo.

Hero and item dancer return to the Hotel where he comes to the conclusion that Don loves her and wanted to marry item dancer and he should allow his sister to marry hero and let them live happily.

The next scene takes place back on the plane to Delhi with everyone awake and well. Don honors sister's love; and ask Dev Cobb spins his top to test reality and marry her sister.


Cast
Nana Patekar as Don (Uday Shetty)
Sunil Shetty as Hero (Dev Cobb)
Priyanka Paduka as Heroien (sanjana)
Malaika Arora as The Dancer (Special appearance in item song)
Amitabh Bacchan as Chemist (Jay-Veeru)
Nirnay Bansal as Movie Director
Sujat Dahal as Movie Producer


Soundtrack
Song Singer(s) Music Director
Hoth Shreya Ghosal Anand Raj Anand and Aadesh Shrivastava
Insha Shaan, Akruti Kakkar Himesh Reshammiya
Kola Laka Vellari Himesh Reshammiya Himesh Reshammiya


Box office
According to boxofficeindia.com, this movie will open to a massive response, it will gross more then Rs. 500 million in its first week, which exceeded Dhoom 2's opening. Within two weeks, movie will gross around Rs. 76 crores, despite facing competition from the highly successful, Aamir Khan's Taare Zameen Par and will declared a blockbuster.

My First Kiss - The Osculate

It is said that one never forgets his first kiss.

Here I am, fifteen years later I can still remember that summer night. I was in the 10th grade. Komal was in the 8th grade. She lived next to my apartment. She had a pretty face and an outstanding charm. She was an ordinary girl. I liked her. I really liked her.

The only time&place I could see her was at between the stairs of the 2nd and 3rd floor of her apartment returning from temple at 7:00 PM. Standing in a corner of stairs, I watch this angel come towards me every evening. I liked her innocence and fragility. The day she didn't appear, I felt something missing. I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness.

I never smiled, never tried to talk, never whistled or did anything unusual. I was quiet. May be because I was too busy watching her. She never said anything also. She was a good actor, and me a demanding director. I did it for "8 long months" without exception.

One day I got the news that she was moving out of her apartment and this might be her last visit to temple. I ran to the stairs again. The weather was perfect, moon was full. She came, I moved one step towards her and ironically, without thinking anything I blurted out, "I like you. I think you can't leave without me kissing you". I didn't know what to say more. It was totally impulsive, somewhat wreckless, and completely unlike me...

She looked up at me. I looked down at her. She looked up at me. I looked down at her. She didn't said any word. The longest second of my life passed between us before she smiled. She had a smile that could win millions.

I grabed her by the waist and pulled towards me.

She was shivering as if ants were climbing over her leg.

Suddenly her right duppata goes off of her shoulder; I moved my right hand from her waist and put her dupatta back on the shoulder.

I looked at her eyes. The Wind was gently blowing her hair. Her heart was racing. She was passive and shy holly.

I hugged her, I dropped down my head close to her, and then her lips touched my lips.

One curve Osculated over the other. It was a slow touch of her lip curve with mine, making a perfect Tangent.

After a while, she put her arm around me. I liked it! I liked Komal. Maybe, I loved her. I was a giddy school-boy happy for the first time in a long while.

Next day, she left Forever!

-Nirnay

What is Freedom?

Freedom means freedom to be stupid. We never need freedom to do the smart thing. We don't need freedom to eat, sleep or dance. Because Freedom means freedom to be stupid. I love my freedom of stupid.

I got my Florida driver's license few days after I came here, and I could safely drive little Nisan Altima 1996 model, which cost me just $1800. The Car is enggineered for 6'2" max, so I have only three extra inch to squeeze in. My little Altima doesn't go faster than 55 miles per hour ;). I can pull into my compact designated parking space and in my garage at any sloppy angle.

Then I bought Hummer, a four-wheel "heavy metal thunder". It is "Born in the U.S.A.". You have that feeling of being strong and safe, high on your pleather throne, above the fray, above the danger, not having to listen to anyone or anything. You have the power to run over anyone else on the road.

I also bought new line t-shirt... "Kill one of ours, I'll kill 100 of yours" :)

Now it looks like the Hummer will be no more. President Obama has taken over GM and he wants fuel economy of 35 miles per gallon. The Hummer gets like 8-12 miles per gallon. The new standards would barely allow a Hummer to run. American auto manufacturers are thinking in terms of electric vehicles so the disgusting smoke will come out of coal smokestacks many-many miles away, and not right out of the tailpipe where you can see it, smell it and enjoy it.

I'm not just sad, I'm also angry on this news. We're all making bad choices all the time, and most of mine are way stupider than yours.

There's a feeling of stupidity one gets when one sits behind the wheel of a really big stupid vehicle. It's stupid to waste that much gas. It's stupid to parade your insecurities on public roads. Hummers are stupid looking. Ya, you don't need an Attack-vehicle for the Starbucks drive through. Hummers are stupid and wasteful and if the company go away to china because no one wants it from GM, that'll be sad. It's always a little sad to lose some stupid. I love people doing stupid things that I'd never do.

It reminds me that although all over the world we humans have so much in common, so much love, and need, and desire, and compassion and loneliness, some of us still want to do things that the rest of us think are bug-nutty. Some of us want to eat sheep's heart, liver and lungs, some of us want to play poker, some of us want a Broadway music and some of us want to drive a Hummer. Yes having a Hummer is stupid, because freedom is required to drive it.

- Nirnay

I am not the Author of this article, I read it somewhere. You can claim your authorship at: nirnaybansal at gmail.com

India Without Last Name

India Without Last Name

: A Foresight in Preventing Fragmentation on Religious & Caste Lines

"A surname is a name added to a given name and is part of a full name. Many dictionaries define 'surname' as a synonym of 'family name' and 'last name'. In concentrated population, only first name for individuals is insufficient to identify an individual, therefore the first name with the last name intimates to address an individual."

To validate above theory, I tried combinations of name on Google to find one individual, but found multiple records for each name. Also typed my own name Nirnay Bansal on Google and found 2 records (including me). And that's true, there is no-way you can identify a human by the combination of few meaningful words.

I went to the history and found that, before 14th century only name, title, or epithet concluded the person's name. The Etymology Dictionary written by Douglas Harper suggest that, family name first appeared in the early 14th century. It was called “over” name. The new noun “over” or “sur" meaning “above” became “sur-Noun” and finally “surname”. Ever since many countries have adopted and enforced the use of family names including France, Netherlands (1811), Japan (1870s), Thailand (1920), and Turkey (1934).

India is a country of utmost cultural, religious and linguistic diversity. Since there was no common ground, people started adopting last names based on patronymics (Agrawala- descendants of King Agrasen), occupations (Chamar, Patwari, Purohit), caste (Pillai, Sindhi, Vaish), name of places (Marwari, Mangeskar, Kapoor) and bestowed titles (Nawabs, Rao, Thakaran).

After India gained independence, the Constitution of India listed some erstwhile groups as Scheduled Castes and Scheduled Tribes. The framers of the Constitution believed that they might deny equal opportunity in Indian society and though need reservation. It was started in India in 1902 with 50% reservation in ONLY "services" for backward classes/communities in the State of Kolhapur. The system was later extended to private and public educational institutions. At present, in day to day practice, with creamy layer theory the reservation works out to near 69%.

The quota system was fundamental in mitigating backwardness of the socially and educationally backward communities who did not have adequate representation in these services and institutions. Currently, categorization on caste or religious bases is nothing but "vote-bank politics". Recently, students in the primary and secondary schools of Muzzafarpur were even asked to mention their caste in the annual exam answersheet to avoid any discrimination between students. ouchhh.....

I tried finding out the cause of being "denied equal opportunity in Indian society" and "racial discrimination".

Answer is simple and straight... Caste/Religion.

Then I tried finding root cause of this cause.

And the answer I found is, "Last name". Yes, actually last name discriminate caste and religions.

You never being discriminated, never being denied respect, never loose opportunity in Indian society... iff you get rid of last name. Can we get rid of this great cause of all the problems?

Why not. We can, infact we did similar things in the past. Whenever last names became a liability to threaten human existence or to impose restrictions and deny equal opportunities to the people, they have been either removed or modified. Few well known examples are:

1. Jews, Chinese Indonesians and Thais replaced there surnames to avoid prosecution during World War II.

2. Many people from Tamil Nadu and Kerala use initials in front of their names to avoid cast discrimination. For ex "Prashantha A", where "A" might stands for Anjuri (OBC), Arji (OBC), Adusumilli (General), Adapa (ST) or etc.

3. Dravidian movement. Since many companies in the industry managed to filter candidates just by looking at their names, the Dravidian movement in the beginning of 20th century was instrumental in knocking off the concept of surnames from TamilNadu.

If we did it in the past, then why can't we do it now? After removing last name, you might face initial problems, either in filling application for passport or within the society. But let's join Indonesia, where some Indonesians still don't have last name. Going forward in life they just use Dr. Er. Jr. or Ir. (BSc in Arts) as last name in there passport and other Govt Documents. Some Javanese also use there parents first name as part their full name. On the birth certificate, the child's name would be written as:

Rita child of Jon and Angela

On a diploma and certificate, the child's name would be written as:

Rita child of Jon

They never want you to be united. Do you remember "Divide and Rule" policy? Instead of solving country's problem of denied respect and discrimination, politicians are increasing problems by categorising us. Let's gather and remove last name. Let's deny mentioning your caste in UID (Aadhaar) program of India. Let's stop writing last name of your kids during admissions in school and give your child a discrimination free India.

Politicians have their five year plan, Do you have yours?

- Nirnay

- Sujat (MD)

(without last name)

Special Thanks to: Kalavathi, Anurag

Marriage Economics

I actually want to say that India is probably one of the most materialistic civilizations where prestige and status is defined by wealth and all other good stuffs. Materialism and superficiality are not new in my subcontinent. The levels are just being magnified now. Let me tell you the hidden truth, the idea that Indians are really spiritual people, is just marketing.

I am talking about Marriage Economics "A dissertation".

The costs of marriage are adding up day-by-day and becoming a multi-million Rupee (INR) celebration (does anyone really want to call this "insanity" a celebration). There are so many customs and traditions that the Indian's (yes, Hindu, Muslim, Punjabi's etc) take into account. Sagai (book a hall, buy gifts and sweets for other family), Mehandhi (hire mehendhiwalas, they don't come cheap), Ladies Night (book a hall, hire a DJ), Marriage (clothes for bride or groom, jewellery often 22 carat gold, hire of a venue or hall, hire of a DJ) and many more items such as the reception and gifting to guests.

I think there added pressure when a NRI get marry. They make wedding ultra expensive to show there relatives that, they are doing well financially. Waoooooo one more example of frivolity of Indians.

So why these idiots do it?

Absolutely correct "ego". Ego has a huge factor on the wish for big weddings

a) To show off one's alleged wealth and thinks horror of horrors, people will think that we "can't afford it".

b) So that people/community/"samaaj" don't think that one is too miserly to splash out on an expensive wedding for one's children.

My brother said, There's a lot of stuff people spend money at wedding that isn't about the core of a wedding, which is getting family and friends together and celebrating.

Ohh so you spent 10 lkh Rupee on a get-together party.... haha ha hahaa. Give me the gun, I wanna shoot myself.

My roome argued one day; Nirnay, it's the most special day a couple can have and so why shouldn't it be over the top and expensive. Sometimes it's the simple things in life that make you truly happy. Down the line in life, when you look back, you will be chrish to remember your wedding day.

ohhh ohhh now don't play game of emotional "atyachar", which you learned from "rotlu" Sharukh Khan. Let's talk in figures. Average couple is 26 years old, so the money would have roughly 40-50 years to grow. Couples who lay out the median cost of a wedding nearly INR 10,00,000 in 2009, actually missing:

Actually missing 37.5 Crore to 167.7 Crore in wealth accumulation over a lifetime by One Time Investment Plan from ICICI Prudential.

OR

Lets don't talk about private players... they assure you something, then suddenly ditch you. Let's take Post Office Saving, which doubles money every 7-8 years.

So 10,00,000 becomes 3.2 Crore in 40 yrs or 6.4 Crore in 50 yrs.

OR

Actually missing 4.5 Crore to 11.7 Crore in wealth accumulation over a lifetime by Jeevan Aastha policy from LIC. (LIC is Govt organization, it is fully owned by the Government of India)

(http://www.bankrate.com/calculators/retirement/roi-calculator.aspx)

My friend Anurag told me; laa-l-la-laa... Nirnay is an idiot, Nirnay is an idiot. Who will gonna calculate the Rate of Inflation.... laa-l-la-laa...

So my dear friend, Nirnay is not an idiot. Let's calculate money after Rate of Inflation. (I found data for last 30 years only from 1980 to 2009). Average inflation rate of last 30 years was 8.004% per annum with minimum 3.77% in 2001 and maximum 13.23 in 1998.

So, couples who lay out the median cost of a wedding nearly INR 10,00,000 in 2009:

After average inflation of 8%, actually missing, 16 Crore to 34 Crore via ICICI Prudential or 4 Crore to 5 Crore via Jeevan Aastha policy from LIC.

(http://www.moneychimp.com/calculator/compound_interest_calculator.htm)

Can you believe, Total number of marriages performed in India in 2007 are 1 crore and Total number of reported marriages through shaadi.com in 2007 is 7.2 lakh.

Now you know, your crazyness cost you and India between 5-150 Crores per marriage. And then multiply this to 7.2 lkh marriages from shaadi.com and count the zeros. (Just leave 1 crore marriage as of now ;) )

Indians you have to realise that you have to stop pretending and spending your life savings on proving you are just as good as others!

Well, to be honest with you, I still want to spend this much money on my marriage, but then instead of this holocaust and show-off, I just want to give a engagement ring cost more then 5 Lkh to my bridge, by diamond producer De Beers. From me..... A BIG no-no for foolhardiness and thoughtless 2-3 day wedding.

On my last serious note, along the commitment to "honour and cherish" we should add a new vow: "Before spending seven figures -- on a lavish party or anything else -- I promise to ponder whether the expense aligns with our deepest values and enhances or compromises our and countries financial well-being."

An Indian,

Nirnay Bansal

mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye

mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye
tum Vista ka desktop ho, main cobol ke screen priye,
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye

tum Ajax ka postback ho, main asp ka form post hoon
tum .Net ka IDE ho, main Java ka edit plus hoon
tum oracle ka 'scott' ho, maun hoon sql ka 'sa' priye
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye

tum C# ka clean code ho, main java ka complex logic hoon
tum silverlight ka player ho, main window media player hoon
tum smooth playback karti priye, main ruk-ruk kar chalta video priye
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye

tum google ka search engine ho, main search engine Bing hoon,
tum MSDN ke help file, main java ka documentation hoon,
tum Intel quad procesor ho, main hoon intel celeron priye
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye

tum outlook ka mailbox ho, main to lotus notes hoon
tum skype video chat ho, mein yahoo video chat hoon
tum winzip file format ho, mein hoon winrar ka format priye
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye

tum billiable resource ho, main bench par betha developer hoon,
tum onsite coordinator ho, main offshore ka tester hoon,
tum company mey consultant ho, main hoon company ka employee priye
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye

tum PM ka cabin ho, mey office ka cubical hoon
tum nescafe ke coffe ho, mey to baas cut chai hoon
tum AC mey bethti ho, mere upper PSPO ka fan priye
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye

tumare paas H1b visa hey, mera B1 ho gaya reject priye
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye

-Nirnay

Expiration Date

The most enduring motif of this blog is the expiration date. We all heed them. I know I don’t purchase my grocery without checking the expiration date. However, I realized everyone else in this world also comes with an expiration date... From expiration date of milk, to the expiration date of a hug.

I lived rough. With 1 week clock. Whether I am dating, living with someone, or even engaged, I start looking elsewhere around the 1 week line. (I know, you guys don't like me with these kinds of thoughts.... but if ogres are like onions, then so am I.)

Then suddenly she comes in my life.... we had all the love for each other that one heart could possibly hold. But she came with Expiration date as well. And why not, even Empires come with timestamp.

She was like genie. And this genie was way too big to put in the bottle. She loves her freedom way too much to let herself be confined.

ohh yaa, Freedom.... I warn you. Once you experience the freedom, you really can’t go back.

Staying alone v/s freedom is like Social drinker v/s an alcoholic. One knows what he is doing and the other doesn’t care what he is doing because he doesn't care.

I loved her like macaroni and cheese. But now, I don't care. I found my unique sense of happiness in my own unique place being my own unique self.

- Nirnay