I have so much to tell you about THIS India tour...but my work got me so god damned busy right now. Well, in short, after two long years, I'm finally going home!
I lived rough.
Before coming here, I would have never thought that I would even be remotely homesick, but I have managed to stay up here through every season. This "time off" will be good for me.
I have "time off" in quotation marks because my situation truly is a mixed blessing. I go home (Noida, India) today (5th), truly go home (Indore, India) on the 9th Nov, I'll drive my new car (Ford Fiesta 2009) (YESSSS!!!) on July 10th, will go to Mumbai on 21st and Goa on 28th and finally have to return to Tampa back on 4th Dec. As you can see, I will hardly have time to relax. I am only going to get to sleep in my bed one time till the December.
At my office, a massively long product release is coming. I've been working since the start of Sep-07, and that's me just going back now. Manager says, can I hold my vacation for few more weeks to provide proper support to developers.
I said "NO"..... At any rate, for me it’s time to go back to the real world.
He laughed and said, Nirnay what if I disapprove your application.
I replied, Ek kagaj par mohar nahi lageyge to kya Tara India nahi jaigaaaa..... (Dialogue from Gadar-2001)
(5th Nov-2009) It is about 8:30 AM here at the PwC Tampa office, my last final checkin in source safe will be at 2:00 PM, and I'm going home around 3:00 PM. Then to airport at 5:00 PM and...... waoooooo that makes me excited. Ohh damn, not that kind of excitement where you have to loose your pant so that no-one see your di#k. But other kind of excitement where you want everyone to see you.....
I promise to update you all with tons of photos and videos when I return.
But before I say I am happy to go there, I have a question, or, you can say my greatest fear in confessing sin:
Who is waiting for me at the other end?
And Who is waiting here for me to comeback.
I know..... No-one.
-Nirnay
Friday, October 30, 2009
Thursday, September 03, 2009
I am Encage or have wings to Fly
For those who’ve watched the new movie "New York", life in the US initially felt the same: "Arrested". Though America didn't detain me from the airport....... actually they did not give any wings to fly either.
I was stripped of the very rights that defined my existence:
a) right to work with any employer and earn my living,
b) right to vote and make a difference to the life around me,
c) right to study while I am in job to challenge the fast paced market,
d) and right to LOVE....
My wings were officially clipped. It what was supposed to be a honeymoon seemed pretty much like a nightmare initially. My house of cards was tumbling.
Everything began to seem unreal... purposeless.... a sham. The whole thing a lie. The way I lived. The fake smiles... the whole charade.
Sometimes I woke up... some part of me woke up and looked around, not understanding anything. How did I get here? Who's stuff is this? Why do I live like this?
The days disappear sometimes. Sometimes too fast... sometimes too painfully slow.
But the first rule of survival as they say is adaptation. And that is where my life began. I met new people, networked. Not exactly the plan I had for my career, but it was a start. At least I was learning the norms and rules of this new country.
I got my driver’s license after failing 2 times in written exam ;). Getting my own car and being able to go from one place to another was really like being born again. Also I learned to cook, do my own laundry, and do the grocery. Funnily being able to do these inane chores on my own makes me feel more independent and in control of my life.
Chanakya shares his observation of how a lion, once it sets eye on its prey, chases it rapidly, holds it tight in its paw and doesn't release the grip till the prey is dead. I applied this theory to my everyday life. Chanakya said, focusing on your work, not caring about other stuff and I assure you success.
In India I had everything: a caring family, an electric group of friends and rightful citizenship. But I lacked the ability to value what I had. And value for my homeland is the biggest gift America has given me. Well, I don't know how it slipped away there. But thinking back I can't remember a time when I realized that it was absent. I can recall a few times of claiming that I had lost my inspiration.
With all these chaos in India, why do I go back?
My reply is simple: Perhaps when I go back, it won't seem so chaotic anymore.
Finally when I do the math of what I have lost and what I have gained. This is a simple thought of my complex mind.... no no..... this is complex thought of my simple mind. I am Encage or have wings to fly.
Nirnay
nirnay@techvalens.com
twitter: Nirnaybansal
gtalk: nirnaybansal
msn: nirnaybansal
I was stripped of the very rights that defined my existence:
a) right to work with any employer and earn my living,
b) right to vote and make a difference to the life around me,
c) right to study while I am in job to challenge the fast paced market,
d) and right to LOVE....
My wings were officially clipped. It what was supposed to be a honeymoon seemed pretty much like a nightmare initially. My house of cards was tumbling.
Everything began to seem unreal... purposeless.... a sham. The whole thing a lie. The way I lived. The fake smiles... the whole charade.
Sometimes I woke up... some part of me woke up and looked around, not understanding anything. How did I get here? Who's stuff is this? Why do I live like this?
The days disappear sometimes. Sometimes too fast... sometimes too painfully slow.
But the first rule of survival as they say is adaptation. And that is where my life began. I met new people, networked. Not exactly the plan I had for my career, but it was a start. At least I was learning the norms and rules of this new country.
I got my driver’s license after failing 2 times in written exam ;). Getting my own car and being able to go from one place to another was really like being born again. Also I learned to cook, do my own laundry, and do the grocery. Funnily being able to do these inane chores on my own makes me feel more independent and in control of my life.
Chanakya shares his observation of how a lion, once it sets eye on its prey, chases it rapidly, holds it tight in its paw and doesn't release the grip till the prey is dead. I applied this theory to my everyday life. Chanakya said, focusing on your work, not caring about other stuff and I assure you success.
In India I had everything: a caring family, an electric group of friends and rightful citizenship. But I lacked the ability to value what I had. And value for my homeland is the biggest gift America has given me. Well, I don't know how it slipped away there. But thinking back I can't remember a time when I realized that it was absent. I can recall a few times of claiming that I had lost my inspiration.
With all these chaos in India, why do I go back?
My reply is simple: Perhaps when I go back, it won't seem so chaotic anymore.
Finally when I do the math of what I have lost and what I have gained. This is a simple thought of my complex mind.... no no..... this is complex thought of my simple mind. I am Encage or have wings to fly.
Nirnay
nirnay@techvalens.com
twitter: Nirnaybansal
gtalk: nirnaybansal
msn: nirnaybansal
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Friend's Friend, are not my Friend
It was 21st Jan 1983, doctors accurately calculated the due date. The date for my first day in this unknown world. But as you all know, I can't be on time. It's my idiosyncrasies to be late always.
Everyone is at hospital. It was a Lovely morning of 22nd Jan 1983, when the round planet Earth turned toward morning sky, whirling past darkness, spinning the night into light. "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself" but who can tell this to my dad. He was Stopping, Thinking and Walking, then Praying, Thinking and Walking, then thinking, talking and walking..... Finally 10 hr and 58 minutes late my parent blessed with a son! Nirnay, Nirnay Bansal.
My mom holds me close and whispered in my open, curving ear, "We are so glad you've come!"
And they started introducing me to many people around me. Though this was Saturday (weekend) everyone camedown to hospital. My uncles, his wife, grandma & grandpa and my uncle/aunt (Bua/Phupaji, Chacha/chachi, Nana/nane, Mausa/Mausi, Kaka/kake, Mama/mami etc etc etc)
I started crying. My dad asked, "Hey Nirnay! What happen? Aren't you happy that lot of relatives standing behind you? They are waiting to meet you from so long, they love you crazy...."
I replied, "Dad, I am sorry. But I don't know who they are, what they do, does they really love me? Do they help me fix if I did something stupid?”
I NEVER realized just how important the relatives are.
Dad replied, "But the way we grew up, families didn’t have anyone other then relatives. You have no choice other then to accept them."
Everyone is at hospital. It was a Lovely morning of 22nd Jan 1983, when the round planet Earth turned toward morning sky, whirling past darkness, spinning the night into light. "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself" but who can tell this to my dad. He was Stopping, Thinking and Walking, then Praying, Thinking and Walking, then thinking, talking and walking..... Finally 10 hr and 58 minutes late my parent blessed with a son! Nirnay, Nirnay Bansal.
My mom holds me close and whispered in my open, curving ear, "We are so glad you've come!"
And they started introducing me to many people around me. Though this was Saturday (weekend) everyone camedown to hospital. My uncles, his wife, grandma & grandpa and my uncle/aunt (Bua/Phupaji, Chacha/chachi, Nana/nane, Mausa/Mausi, Kaka/kake, Mama/mami etc etc etc)
I started crying. My dad asked, "Hey Nirnay! What happen? Aren't you happy that lot of relatives standing behind you? They are waiting to meet you from so long, they love you crazy...."
I replied, "Dad, I am sorry. But I don't know who they are, what they do, does they really love me? Do they help me fix if I did something stupid?”
I NEVER realized just how important the relatives are.
Dad replied, "But the way we grew up, families didn’t have anyone other then relatives. You have no choice other then to accept them."
I asked, "But Dad, then what I will do in this world. You gave me everything. I don't want to live then."
On my words, mom-dad gets afraid. They resigned on my innocent face and fact full question. My dad replied, "Ok my dear son, I am giving you opportunity to make a new relation with unlimited peoples, called FRIEND!!"
I asked, "What does this FRIEND means? What kind of relation is this?"
He said, "A friend is a tender shoulder on which to softly cry. A well to pour your troubles down and raise your spirits high. A friend is a hand to pull you up from darkness and despair".... "My dear son, choose your own friends, don't ever INHERIT them"
For most of my life, I knew that I was "other," not quite like everyone else. I searched for years for answers and one fine day I found that,
"Friend's Friend, are not my Friend"
Nirnay Bansal
On my words, mom-dad gets afraid. They resigned on my innocent face and fact full question. My dad replied, "Ok my dear son, I am giving you opportunity to make a new relation with unlimited peoples, called FRIEND!!"
I asked, "What does this FRIEND means? What kind of relation is this?"
He said, "A friend is a tender shoulder on which to softly cry. A well to pour your troubles down and raise your spirits high. A friend is a hand to pull you up from darkness and despair".... "My dear son, choose your own friends, don't ever INHERIT them"
For most of my life, I knew that I was "other," not quite like everyone else. I searched for years for answers and one fine day I found that,
"Friend's Friend, are not my Friend"
Nirnay Bansal
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Indian Infrastructure Milstones
Bastards: HCC and politians.
Bandra-Worli sea link, 5.6 Km in 10 years (1.5 meter per day)
Jai Congress!
Jai HCC!
Jai Maharastra!
and
Jai Hind!
Bandra-Worli sea link, 5.6 Km in 10 years (1.5 meter per day)
Jai Congress!
Jai HCC!
Jai Maharastra!
and
Jai Hind!
Madoff vs Kasab. or US vs India
Madoff pleaded guilty on Mar 12, charged 150 yr on Jun 29. Amir Kasab attacked India on Nov 26, We are still runing trail.
Jai Hind!
Jai Hind!
Saturday, May 30, 2009
My Love Story
This story is about me, searching for LOVE. To be honest with you guys, I tried many times since my college days, a lovely Jain, a half-drunker Sinha, a foxy Khandelwal, a rigid Tripathi and a half-baked Goyal, but I never been lucky :(. This time my pray is exciting & appealing Devika. You know, I am well settled and well mannered stud guy (ok ok, lets assume this), then why I never being hooked up? Well, I know the reason. Actually I am more friendly then more Loveable... so girls came to my life, made me Best Friend, Bestest friend and bestestest friend and then went & get laid, slept or married to someone else. hey hey, No more sentii..... ok ok, I know, now you wanna say, Good luck Nirnay! for Devika.
Here is a small conversation between me and her. See how your above "wish" worked at me.
I was waiting in a coffee-bar, and Devika is as usual late.
My Brain: "28 minutes late!!", "Nirnay, Last time you were 5 mins late and she had literally gobbled you up. Remember?"
Nirnay: "Yeah yeah", "You know her... all moody and stuff .... But she is pronounced flavored… forget about time brainy"
My Brain: "Scold her OK?"
Nirnay: "OK, I will try"
Sweete comes with the cute smile and said: "I'm sorry honey.... I was shopping for shoes... totally forgot about you"
My Brain shouted: "What if you had said that line buddy?", "she would have had a nervous breakdown"
Nirnay ignored brain and said: "Its OK honey... its only half an hour... no problem"
Sweete smiled once again, hold my hand and asked: "in her excessively warm tone, Hope you remember what occasion is today"
Nirnay thought: "OMG!!!", "Hey Brain, help me yaar"
My Brain: Searching database for reminders, silly anniversaries, birthdays and birthdays of his violent ex-boyfriends, my manipulative ex-girlfriends, and fearsome relatives. My Brain got into action... he started delegating work to different parts.... parallel processing... multiple searches........ Google search..... Multithreading.... Multitasking...... quad processes running..... Complete memory scan..... On all FAT32 and FAT64 partitions.
Sweete Stared at me: "Hello!! You have been staring at me for 2 minutes now... you OK?"
Nirnay: "Huh!!!", "Oh... nothing's wrong... was lost in thoughts"
(My Brain said from back: Sorry Bro, No records found. Bad command or file name)
Nirnay: "Damn!! How can you do this with me Brainy", "Go f**k yourself"
Sweete Asked: "So what say... how do we celebrate this day?"
Nirnay confused: "?????"
My Brain said: "Ask her... dumbo?"
Nirnay: "OK OK ...stop pushing me", "let me handle this..."
Nirnay smiled and said: "Honey ... You know, my lousy memory... I guess I can’t recall what today is"
Sweete getting wild: "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", and started crying.
Sweete Shouted: "How could you forget!!? ..... It’s my doggie’s birthday"
Nirnay A moment of silence: "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
My entire Brain staff was laughing at me. I was dumbfounded.
Nirnay to my Brain: "Yaar dost, what the hell am I supposed to do know?", "You also left me alone, atleast do something now"
My Brain: "Damage control sequence initialized... all memory initiated with variables, don’t worry our specialist will comeback with the perfect line to make everything all right"
Nirnay to Brainy: "Better do it fast... brainy"
The brain was working with 100% CPU usage.... gathering and analyzing all data on 'How to handle girls?' Finally an answer was computed and communicated to me.
Nirnay said: "Of Course I remember your doggie’s b'day Paro.... how I can forget that sweet mutt's special day"
Sweete looked up with utter surprise: "HUH!!!!!!!....... Doggy is the name of my cat you jerk"
She stood up angrily and left.
Me and my nebulous brain were left there clueless....
My Brain: "Sorry Nirnay, she gone, lets try on someone else.... Hey, How about stun looking Neha from Delhi ;)". She is coy and seductive, especially without any drama or elegance. She is like softness of clothes and the repose of the atmosphere. Baas…. baas….
Does anyone wanna say me, Good Luck Nirnay! this time????
Nirnay
Here is a small conversation between me and her. See how your above "wish" worked at me.
I was waiting in a coffee-bar, and Devika is as usual late.
My Brain: "28 minutes late!!", "Nirnay, Last time you were 5 mins late and she had literally gobbled you up. Remember?"
Nirnay: "Yeah yeah", "You know her... all moody and stuff .... But she is pronounced flavored… forget about time brainy"
My Brain: "Scold her OK?"
Nirnay: "OK, I will try"
Sweete comes with the cute smile and said: "I'm sorry honey.... I was shopping for shoes... totally forgot about you"
My Brain shouted: "What if you had said that line buddy?", "she would have had a nervous breakdown"
Nirnay ignored brain and said: "Its OK honey... its only half an hour... no problem"
Sweete smiled once again, hold my hand and asked: "in her excessively warm tone, Hope you remember what occasion is today"
Nirnay thought: "OMG!!!", "Hey Brain, help me yaar"
My Brain: Searching database for reminders, silly anniversaries, birthdays and birthdays of his violent ex-boyfriends, my manipulative ex-girlfriends, and fearsome relatives. My Brain got into action... he started delegating work to different parts.... parallel processing... multiple searches........ Google search..... Multithreading.... Multitasking...... quad processes running..... Complete memory scan..... On all FAT32 and FAT64 partitions.
Sweete Stared at me: "Hello!! You have been staring at me for 2 minutes now... you OK?"
Nirnay: "Huh!!!", "Oh... nothing's wrong... was lost in thoughts"
(My Brain said from back: Sorry Bro, No records found. Bad command or file name)
Nirnay: "Damn!! How can you do this with me Brainy", "Go f**k yourself"
Sweete Asked: "So what say... how do we celebrate this day?"
Nirnay confused: "?????"
My Brain said: "Ask her... dumbo?"
Nirnay: "OK OK ...stop pushing me", "let me handle this..."
Nirnay smiled and said: "Honey ... You know, my lousy memory... I guess I can’t recall what today is"
Sweete getting wild: "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", and started crying.
Sweete Shouted: "How could you forget!!? ..... It’s my doggie’s birthday"
Nirnay A moment of silence: "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
My entire Brain staff was laughing at me. I was dumbfounded.
Nirnay to my Brain: "Yaar dost, what the hell am I supposed to do know?", "You also left me alone, atleast do something now"
My Brain: "Damage control sequence initialized... all memory initiated with variables, don’t worry our specialist will comeback with the perfect line to make everything all right"
Nirnay to Brainy: "Better do it fast... brainy"
The brain was working with 100% CPU usage.... gathering and analyzing all data on 'How to handle girls?' Finally an answer was computed and communicated to me.
Nirnay said: "Of Course I remember your doggie’s b'day Paro.... how I can forget that sweet mutt's special day"
Sweete looked up with utter surprise: "HUH!!!!!!!....... Doggy is the name of my cat you jerk"
She stood up angrily and left.
Me and my nebulous brain were left there clueless....
My Brain: "Sorry Nirnay, she gone, lets try on someone else.... Hey, How about stun looking Neha from Delhi ;)". She is coy and seductive, especially without any drama or elegance. She is like softness of clothes and the repose of the atmosphere. Baas…. baas….
Does anyone wanna say me, Good Luck Nirnay! this time????
Nirnay
Sunday, April 26, 2009
THURSDAY! (a True Story)
Here is One More Day in my Life. As bland as most will not believe. You all know it's my idiosyncrasies to be late always. So I entered in office at 9:30 AM (I'm not late, if you go by Pacific Standard Time.). Today's excuse will be "I fell asleep in the shower". (That's funny, but I did this many times)
Ok. So I entered in office. Very first person saw me is Katie again, as always she looks mesmerizing ;) and she asked "Hey Nirnay! Why you are in formal dress today..."
What? Is this "Casual Friday"...? I said. And she cracked down on me. On casual Friday I usually wear nice jeans and a T-Shirt. I lied her that, "I was concerned about my career; consequently, I was more concerned with looking professional than looking cute or trendy on Friday". But hey, hey.... I worked only 3 days this week and today is 4th day. It must be Thursday.
I headed towards my cube, with random stuff going through my head. Its Thursday or Friday? If this is Friday, then what was yesterday? and if yesterday was Thursday, then where is Wednesday. Holly s**...Wait... Wednesday I fixed 5 bugs, so Wednesday I worked, but Thursday I fixed no bug... Ass h** how can I fix bug on Thursday, because its today... But Katie told me its Friday.
I ran towards my cube. Opened my Visual Source Safe and checked the stuff I checked-in last working day. My last check-in was Wednesday 5:30 PM. Waoooo, so today is Thursday. Now I moved towards Katie to punch her. I now reached, and flash my smile of acknowledgement to all the known strangers near her cubicle. Suddenly I hear discussion in next cube jump to the weekend plan. It's definitely Friday today…. Things like this drives me crazy!
I know deep down inside, that I never forgot things, but I also knew memory is a tenuous thing, gossamer thread of mind. Today left me with a sinking feeling. Not only did I not finish working, I was coding out of point also. I didn’t even have such bad vibes for Torts. Well, the turbulence has passed; know that colleagues will not remember this for long. But where is my Thursday?
Thought it would have been so good, if there been a time machine and I could have altered just this incident from my life. Sorry, I didn’t have the luxury.
(Are you thinking this story looks like a bollywood movie "SUNDAY" of big "#$%^%$#" Indian actress, Ayesha Takia. Yeah, you are right)
(Are you thinking why didn't I just saw my laptop clock? Well the motherboard battery got drain. Its a long process to take approval of any hardware change in my company)
(Are you thinking why the hell I didn't checked the date on internet? Well, Let me confess; I forgot, I am an Id10t.)
Nirnay
nirnay@techValens.com
Ok. So I entered in office. Very first person saw me is Katie again, as always she looks mesmerizing ;) and she asked "Hey Nirnay! Why you are in formal dress today..."
What? Is this "Casual Friday"...? I said. And she cracked down on me. On casual Friday I usually wear nice jeans and a T-Shirt. I lied her that, "I was concerned about my career; consequently, I was more concerned with looking professional than looking cute or trendy on Friday". But hey, hey.... I worked only 3 days this week and today is 4th day. It must be Thursday.
I headed towards my cube, with random stuff going through my head. Its Thursday or Friday? If this is Friday, then what was yesterday? and if yesterday was Thursday, then where is Wednesday. Holly s**...Wait... Wednesday I fixed 5 bugs, so Wednesday I worked, but Thursday I fixed no bug... Ass h** how can I fix bug on Thursday, because its today... But Katie told me its Friday.
I ran towards my cube. Opened my Visual Source Safe and checked the stuff I checked-in last working day. My last check-in was Wednesday 5:30 PM. Waoooo, so today is Thursday. Now I moved towards Katie to punch her. I now reached, and flash my smile of acknowledgement to all the known strangers near her cubicle. Suddenly I hear discussion in next cube jump to the weekend plan. It's definitely Friday today…. Things like this drives me crazy!
I know deep down inside, that I never forgot things, but I also knew memory is a tenuous thing, gossamer thread of mind. Today left me with a sinking feeling. Not only did I not finish working, I was coding out of point also. I didn’t even have such bad vibes for Torts. Well, the turbulence has passed; know that colleagues will not remember this for long. But where is my Thursday?
Thought it would have been so good, if there been a time machine and I could have altered just this incident from my life. Sorry, I didn’t have the luxury.
(Are you thinking this story looks like a bollywood movie "SUNDAY" of big "#$%^%$#" Indian actress, Ayesha Takia. Yeah, you are right)
(Are you thinking why didn't I just saw my laptop clock? Well the motherboard battery got drain. Its a long process to take approval of any hardware change in my company)
(Are you thinking why the hell I didn't checked the date on internet? Well, Let me confess; I forgot, I am an Id10t.)
Nirnay
nirnay@techValens.com
Friday, March 06, 2009
"Jai Hind!"
"Jai Hind!", it means "Victory to India" or "Long live India". The Indian revolutionary Dr. Champakaraman Pillai introduced the salutation. It has since captured the imagination of Indians and has been immortalized by Subhash Chandra Bose as the battle cry of the Indian National Army.
I used this salutation most commonly at the end of my communications to refer my patriotism towards India, to remind them (to the person to whom I am communicating) the diaspora of India's strength and power.... and why not, India invented chess, India invented the number "zero" etc etc.
One day I conclude my chat with one of my friend as usual with Jai Hind!. I kept waiting for her to turn back and say the two words, but none came. I said heyy you, what happened to Jai Hind? Then she pinged next day and asked “Nirnay, still you say jai hind”... grrrrr..... (I thought to Slap this Bitch!!)
Before publishing, I discussed about this blog with my close mate, he said “baniyee, It is very easy to sit in AC office and think in this way”. I replied, "My dear friend, all the revolutions start from yourself. You can't change the world, but you can change yourself and make the difference."
The list of this Mutiny is endless.
I am sure, if you are reading this blog, you might be from those who commited TREACHERY, who didn't replied to my "Jai Hind!" sometime. And iff answer is yes, then you are now under my radar. Why don't you give your citizenship & go to Pa....an
ORStart replying & vow to serve our Mother truthfully, faithfully and cheerfully in sun-shine and shower.
I want support of you guys and despots of India, to declare not replying of jai hind, a species of treachery that ought to be punished.
Jai Hind!
- Nirnay
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Nirnay, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! From Nirnay.
It’s my birthday. Today I am 26, nostalgic.
"My childhood is past, but still present in time.
Because growing older is only a matter of time."
Looking back on my childhood, I can’t help but return to the one thing that’s been present, constant. Its family. I guess in a way my family's childhood has past too. My family has become adult, complicated. Complicated only because we are far from each other. Yet still always constant, changing but unchanging. Always there. Impervious to time.
I still have those memories with me… When I was a kid; dumbly standing in front of the class, in my new birthday dress gleaming and the whole classmates, standing, singing “Happy Birthday to you…” v.e.r.y. s.l.o.w.l.y and LOUDLY. Sing a syllable for a long time until the breath has gone. I'm smiling and thanking everybody while they pick their toffees from the box that I especially used to load the previous night with latest toffee from the TV Advertisement. Further years passed on… Birthday celebrations in college. The ritual of holding the birthday boy in the air and then kicking his ass "birthday bumps" and then treats at fast-food center.
Friends moved away choosing different geographical regions and different career paths and hence "Happy Birthday" calls and emails where the only things that kept the celebration on.
This year at the stroke of midnight, I was all available on gtalk and yahoo. With my phone on loud tone I was awaiting for birthday wishes to pour in – but none came… (I'm pathetic in remembering birthdays anyways, so it’s better not to expect either… Fair right???)
But sitting in my balcony… I even wanted to call some of my close friends in the middle of the night and ask them to wish me. I wanted to say….."Hey!!, Today is my birthday, I want you to wish me". I lost my sleep for the night and was left wondering why no-one is calling me?
I received, the first birthday wish by SMS at 2:00 AM, it read – "Nirnay, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! From Nirnay!” Ya, it’s only me, I SMS myself the first b'day wish. The message brought a BIG smile on my face. I know indeed there are a lot of people thinking about me but I guess they probably missed my birthday.
Morning I woke up with same happiness as always… Since it was Thursday I have to go to work. It was time for me, to CODE!! Happy Birthday Nirnay :)
If I wanted to be happy, I didn't need a day on the calendar to do it.
- Nirnay
"My childhood is past, but still present in time.
Because growing older is only a matter of time."
Looking back on my childhood, I can’t help but return to the one thing that’s been present, constant. Its family. I guess in a way my family's childhood has past too. My family has become adult, complicated. Complicated only because we are far from each other. Yet still always constant, changing but unchanging. Always there. Impervious to time.
I still have those memories with me… When I was a kid; dumbly standing in front of the class, in my new birthday dress gleaming and the whole classmates, standing, singing “Happy Birthday to you…” v.e.r.y. s.l.o.w.l.y and LOUDLY. Sing a syllable for a long time until the breath has gone. I'm smiling and thanking everybody while they pick their toffees from the box that I especially used to load the previous night with latest toffee from the TV Advertisement. Further years passed on… Birthday celebrations in college. The ritual of holding the birthday boy in the air and then kicking his ass "birthday bumps" and then treats at fast-food center.
Friends moved away choosing different geographical regions and different career paths and hence "Happy Birthday" calls and emails where the only things that kept the celebration on.
This year at the stroke of midnight, I was all available on gtalk and yahoo. With my phone on loud tone I was awaiting for birthday wishes to pour in – but none came… (I'm pathetic in remembering birthdays anyways, so it’s better not to expect either… Fair right???)
But sitting in my balcony… I even wanted to call some of my close friends in the middle of the night and ask them to wish me. I wanted to say….."Hey!!, Today is my birthday, I want you to wish me". I lost my sleep for the night and was left wondering why no-one is calling me?
I received, the first birthday wish by SMS at 2:00 AM, it read – "Nirnay, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! From Nirnay!” Ya, it’s only me, I SMS myself the first b'day wish. The message brought a BIG smile on my face. I know indeed there are a lot of people thinking about me but I guess they probably missed my birthday.
Morning I woke up with same happiness as always… Since it was Thursday I have to go to work. It was time for me, to CODE!! Happy Birthday Nirnay :)
If I wanted to be happy, I didn't need a day on the calendar to do it.
- Nirnay
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