...And On The Eighth Day, God Created Developers

...And On The Eighth Day, God Created Developers

I am taking a bit of a break from my usual writings and instead am focusing on writing about The Developers.

In the beginning there existed only one Word, and the Word was 'God'.
All else was darkness and void, and without form. So God created the Heavens and the Earth.
He created the Sun, and the Moon, and Stars, so that light might pierce the darkness.
The Earth,,,, God divided between the Land, Air and the Sea.

On the 6th day, God created Men & Women.
On the 7th day, he rested.
...And On The Eighth Day, God Created 'Developers'.

What God said to us is as follows. (This list is by no means exhaustive and I will add to It as I remember more):

God Said: Genesis 2:[18] And the God said, It is not good that the man should be alone;
Developers, you will have NO women!, No or minimum contact with people, LONG hours in the office, Lots of stress and No social life.

God Said: Genesis 2:[21] And the God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept:
Developers, you will be not much of an early riser and prefer to sleep a bit late in the morning. You will be more of a late to bed and late to rise kind of person.

God Said: Genesis 2:[??] God said, Let us make man in our image; who always love.
Developers, your first love will be a computers.

God Said: Genesis 2:[31] God saw everything that he had made, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning a sixth day.
Developers, You can enjoy, spend, drink and dance, but you will have to wait for the weekend.

God Said: Genesis 3:[25] And God made the beast of the earth after his kind;
Developers, you will always see two persons always next to you:
1 – The PM (Project Manager), giving a pleasant smile every time we see him/her.
2 – The TL (Team Leader), busy in scheduling work for us and busy in his/her own world

God Said: Genesis 3:[28] God said, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it;
Developers, You will get frustrated, bored, overburden as a Software developer then you will sacrifice, work hard and become an Entrepreneur. But you will always open a Software Start-up and hire bunch of other Software Developers to work for you. This way your race will Multiply in same industry.

God Said: 7 Genesis 4:[7] If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is couching at the door;
Develops, You will never understand performance appraisal process.
If you deliver project with quality and on time, then you will lack in Business communication and leadership;
And if you prove your leadership and communication skills, then you will lack in new technology and you need self-learning classes.

God Said: Developers, you will manage and managed by good, bad and ugly managers.

God Said: .....
 
 
a Software Developer,
Nirnay

Now to the reception

WOW! It's going to be easy to describe how amazing the Indian receptions are.

Rules:
1. What happens is... the bride and grooms have to stand on stage all night.

2. Everyone wants bridge to be the Indian version of Barbie doll. With 10-15 Kg of Ghagra and on the top of it, lots of gold jewellery.

3. Everyone wants groom to be the Indian version of King Akbar, in a funny Sarafi with lots of Embroidery using Silver and Gold threads, and you never want to see that suite in your wardrobe again.

4. Expect atleast 500-700 guests there if not more I would say. And you hardly know 10% of them, including your first relatives.

5. There was a long line up on the left side of the hall, or right side of bridge and grooms, coming towards them, with 4 folded envelop in there hand. They give you this envelops while shaking hands.... It's was hard for me to understand that I am shaking hands, or taking bribe.

6. On stage, as each guest properly speaks little more than his name and conventional greetings ("badhai ho") or just word "Congratulations", the line progresses steadily without unnecessary delays.

7. If they said Congratulation and don't go forward, apparently that was a sign from guests that it is time to take photos with us. Well, later you can count all guests that attended our wedding ceremony from that photo, because they NEVER claim there photo from you.

8. From the stage, You will see some OLD aged ladies, seating in front of your stage, commenting on the other women’s saris, the size of the gold lockets, and their mangal sutras (wedding necklaces), AND the quality of the food! (which in there terms are always bad).

9. You can expect atleast one couple in the line-up holding 3 feet/3 feet large box. I prayed to god, please I don't want to hold this, hope this is her gift.... well she was praying the same thing that this should be my gift.
She Won! :(

10. We saw that all were mingling and enjoying the buffet, EXCEPT us.

11. Food everywhere...there were people walking around with every type of food imaginable with fast pace, and they genuinely seemed sad if they not able to taste all the stalls. Once again, EXCEPT us.

12. Last.... If someone unknown comes on stage, greet you and give you some gift... and if you think this is not my relative, probably her... well 8 out of 10 time she is also thinking same thing ;)

And that is Indian reception in a nutshell!

Did my life change after marriage?

I got married on Jan 26th, 2011. It is purely a arrange marriage. After that, I asked 1 million times; Did my life and/or my attitude towards life has changed?

Well...I can't touch Beer anymore. That's because my boss and supreme commander (you know who?) has certain philosophical and health-related disagreements with it. After several threats and arguments Pepsi, Coke etc has been almost knocked out of the system. Now the long drive habit is under attack and unfortunately that will fade out of my life as well.

Above answers are probably some superficial things. But the truth is way more then this;

Few days back, I decided to seriously search for the answer. I was drawn to the foggy window which induced a stroll in the open terrace. I was feeling a long grey ghost trailing behind me. My silence was usually presumed as thoughts about my earlier lifestyle.

1.
I always complained about bad-taste food to my mom. Yesterday when I was doing lunch at office, the vegetable was tasted salty and sour. Few hours later I got call from her (my wife), asking me in soothing voice about lunch. I said “mmm….. O.K.”, meant “not bad taste... I could bear it" I said so just because the truth may hurt her. But that statement hurted her more, because she already knew during her lunch that vegetable tasted bad. For the first time I felt guilty about complaining about cooking skills.

2.
My heart stopped for a moment when she told me that her ring is missing. I relaxed after bothering Anurag (my friend) over phone that it was safe at his house, because we were there on weekend.

Was I so much heedful before?
No, never had I. I still remember how I was reluctant when my sister misplaced her ear ring and was pleading me to search for it.

3.
Arguments are always an essential part of my life. I always peep in to the common issues to disagree with my peers/friends to prove that they are wrong.

But did I do that at home now?
My head nods “no". I do not need to prove my smartness at home. Harmony of opinion is just an expression of brand loyalty, the product of best husband.

4.
Irresponsibility at mom’s home can be excused as a privilege, but after marriage every women requires emotional and physical investment to identify and accept the “major transition” in her life. I unknowingly intimate to conquer my life’s love but at the same time want to exile more in my professional life. I want to be responsible and caring like a naturalized person.

This doesn't mean that I was a rough kind of a person. What all I've felt is that it has made me more responsible and caring towards her. Earlier it was like "I'm happy"; now it is "We are happy".

I have many instances to quote the “difference” in myself, from yearning for a call to organized room. I know my priorities, life style, preferences, likes, dislikes, longings, “food habits”…….etc have undergone a major shift.

I doubt whether I lost my originality after marriage. I am convincing myself that this is a “normal change”.


- Nirnay