We are in an age of 140 characters

Story 1:Today I am x years-old (where 3 < X < 9), and there’s one thing I like about this age, its bedtime stories. My grandparents like kids, but books are certainly right up there. And they used to combine them together every night, and make us a-flutter.

Story 2:Scripture is God’s word, it is also a witness. We know God through the stories. We understand Ram from Ramayana.

Story 3:I am an Engineer. I suppose, as I always strive for the bigger picture and for things & information to be put in a context of data, things like blogging would be a natural venue for me. With no squelching of Pages, Words or characters here often I write science, data, suppositions, views etc.

Story 4:People keeps a diary… personal diary and obsessed with writing there own stories in it.

Now Today:
Suddenly today someone came in my life called 'Social media'. She shortchanges me and diverting my attention so I can tell my story in text messages.

She said, we are in an age where 140 characters, offer an easy substitute for everything.
She said, She is funny or startling or exciting or telling me something or some combination of all of those.

But, this "very different new angle" of mysteriously 140 characters has no supporting background or detail information. It looks they are moving me into their meta-maze with two openings; Death or Appeasement.

No, I cannot be just a people of 'Social media'. We must also be bards, biographers and poets and our content are too grand, too deep and far too wide.

For me 140 Characters Is Not Enough. I can't tell bedtime stories in 140 characters. I can't understand God in 140 characters. I can't understand history in 140 characters. I can't write science in 140 characters. I can't write my personal diary with 140 characters. I can't write poem with 140 characters. And finally.... I can't say how much I love to wife in 140 characters.

Do you want to hear this in 140 characters, here is “MY 140 Characters”:

A Bad Dream or Say Good Nightmare

I guess I want to talk about something I’m going through right now…

All the pain and suffering, all the hardness market put me through in last 1 year is for my own good. Without this I would again let the stupid and weak decide the development of the world and trend of market.

Like, without war it is impossible to unveil the cowards, and because of that the cowards get as much to say as the brave, same as.... Without the hardness, Man becomes coward, mixes with animals and forgets the gods and the creed of the gods. With this market tumbling, Let the Stupid and Weak die!

Well, I have a reoccurring nightmare. The place changes but the theme is always the same. In dream I always read news from a yellow page newspaper:

"Nirnay Bansal, the fourth-largest share trader, has filed for bankruptcy protection, dealing a blow to the fragile global financial system. Bansal had incurred losses of billions of dollars in the Indian share market.

Early Monday morning, Bansal said it will file Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection in Delhi for its holding company in what would be the largest failure of a share trader since the collapse of Drexel Burnham Lambert 18 years ago, the Associated friend reported."

What does this means?
I became Billionaire
Or I became billionaire and then screwed up.

So yeah. That’s me. Every night before I go to bed, I pray that I don’t have any bad dreams! I hope it works tonight. So, what should I call it A Bad Dream or a Good Nightmare. I don’t know if anyone has any input about it.

- Nirnay

I'm too busy living

Oooooooooh well I never thought for a minute it would be THIS long till I posted again! I had every intention of writing about my day to day stuff, but the truth is … I have been way too busy enjoying my life to post about it! A few of my regular readers have contacted me to say they were gagging for an update … so here goes!!

If you are not busy living, then you must be busy dying. Most of us do this subconsciously and are unaware of which side of this equation we reside on. Sometime I think, Is Lots of Money = Lots of Freedom?
Answer is NO, May be or I don't know. But I never found answer, Yes.

In the evening I asked, hey Nirnay! What's the "best" thing that's happened to you today?
I said, Nothing.

How terribly busy we are, just living our daily life ! Each day just slips by – without our even noticing it. We eat, drink, sleep, work, play, shop, fight, watch TV, and procreate. Surely, we can do something for the Less Fortunate(s), even if it’s just once in a year?

You don’t need to join an NGO or become a social service activist. And you don’t have to commit yourself to any long-term project.

Let’s MAKE A START today, by DE-CLUTTERING our homes and cupboards:
* Take out all the old clothes, bed sheets, sweaters & footwear that you haven’t used in the last two years
* Gather old Toys & Games that your children have outgrown

Pack all these and give it away.

- Nirnay

...And On The Eighth Day, God Created Developers

...And On The Eighth Day, God Created Developers

I am taking a bit of a break from my usual writings and instead am focusing on writing about The Developers.

In the beginning there existed only one Word, and the Word was 'God'.
All else was darkness and void, and without form. So God created the Heavens and the Earth.
He created the Sun, and the Moon, and Stars, so that light might pierce the darkness.
The Earth,,,, God divided between the Land, Air and the Sea.

On the 6th day, God created Men & Women.
On the 7th day, he rested.
...And On The Eighth Day, God Created 'Developers'.

What God said to us is as follows. (This list is by no means exhaustive and I will add to It as I remember more):

God Said: Genesis 2:[18] And the God said, It is not good that the man should be alone;
Developers, you will have NO women!, No or minimum contact with people, LONG hours in the office, Lots of stress and No social life.

God Said: Genesis 2:[21] And the God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept:
Developers, you will be not much of an early riser and prefer to sleep a bit late in the morning. You will be more of a late to bed and late to rise kind of person.

God Said: Genesis 2:[??] God said, Let us make man in our image; who always love.
Developers, your first love will be a computers.

God Said: Genesis 2:[31] God saw everything that he had made, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning a sixth day.
Developers, You can enjoy, spend, drink and dance, but you will have to wait for the weekend.

God Said: Genesis 3:[25] And God made the beast of the earth after his kind;
Developers, you will always see two persons always next to you:
1 – The PM (Project Manager), giving a pleasant smile every time we see him/her.
2 – The TL (Team Leader), busy in scheduling work for us and busy in his/her own world

God Said: Genesis 3:[28] God said, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it;
Developers, You will get frustrated, bored, overburden as a Software developer then you will sacrifice, work hard and become an Entrepreneur. But you will always open a Software Start-up and hire bunch of other Software Developers to work for you. This way your race will Multiply in same industry.

God Said: 7 Genesis 4:[7] If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is couching at the door;
Develops, You will never understand performance appraisal process.
If you deliver project with quality and on time, then you will lack in Business communication and leadership;
And if you prove your leadership and communication skills, then you will lack in new technology and you need self-learning classes.

God Said: Developers, you will manage and managed by good, bad and ugly managers.

God Said: .....
 
 
a Software Developer,
Nirnay

Now to the reception

WOW! It's going to be easy to describe how amazing the Indian receptions are.

Rules:
1. What happens is... the bride and grooms have to stand on stage all night.

2. Everyone wants bridge to be the Indian version of Barbie doll. With 10-15 Kg of Ghagra and on the top of it, lots of gold jewellery.

3. Everyone wants groom to be the Indian version of King Akbar, in a funny Sarafi with lots of Embroidery using Silver and Gold threads, and you never want to see that suite in your wardrobe again.

4. Expect atleast 500-700 guests there if not more I would say. And you hardly know 10% of them, including your first relatives.

5. There was a long line up on the left side of the hall, or right side of bridge and grooms, coming towards them, with 4 folded envelop in there hand. They give you this envelops while shaking hands.... It's was hard for me to understand that I am shaking hands, or taking bribe.

6. On stage, as each guest properly speaks little more than his name and conventional greetings ("badhai ho") or just word "Congratulations", the line progresses steadily without unnecessary delays.

7. If they said Congratulation and don't go forward, apparently that was a sign from guests that it is time to take photos with us. Well, later you can count all guests that attended our wedding ceremony from that photo, because they NEVER claim there photo from you.

8. From the stage, You will see some OLD aged ladies, seating in front of your stage, commenting on the other women’s saris, the size of the gold lockets, and their mangal sutras (wedding necklaces), AND the quality of the food! (which in there terms are always bad).

9. You can expect atleast one couple in the line-up holding 3 feet/3 feet large box. I prayed to god, please I don't want to hold this, hope this is her gift.... well she was praying the same thing that this should be my gift.
She Won! :(

10. We saw that all were mingling and enjoying the buffet, EXCEPT us.

11. Food everywhere...there were people walking around with every type of food imaginable with fast pace, and they genuinely seemed sad if they not able to taste all the stalls. Once again, EXCEPT us.

12. Last.... If someone unknown comes on stage, greet you and give you some gift... and if you think this is not my relative, probably her... well 8 out of 10 time she is also thinking same thing ;)

And that is Indian reception in a nutshell!

Did my life change after marriage?

I got married on Jan 26th, 2011. It is purely a arrange marriage. After that, I asked 1 million times; Did my life and/or my attitude towards life has changed?

Well...I can't touch Beer anymore. That's because my boss and supreme commander (you know who?) has certain philosophical and health-related disagreements with it. After several threats and arguments Pepsi, Coke etc has been almost knocked out of the system. Now the long drive habit is under attack and unfortunately that will fade out of my life as well.

Above answers are probably some superficial things. But the truth is way more then this;

Few days back, I decided to seriously search for the answer. I was drawn to the foggy window which induced a stroll in the open terrace. I was feeling a long grey ghost trailing behind me. My silence was usually presumed as thoughts about my earlier lifestyle.

1.
I always complained about bad-taste food to my mom. Yesterday when I was doing lunch at office, the vegetable was tasted salty and sour. Few hours later I got call from her (my wife), asking me in soothing voice about lunch. I said “mmm….. O.K.”, meant “not bad taste... I could bear it" I said so just because the truth may hurt her. But that statement hurted her more, because she already knew during her lunch that vegetable tasted bad. For the first time I felt guilty about complaining about cooking skills.

2.
My heart stopped for a moment when she told me that her ring is missing. I relaxed after bothering Anurag (my friend) over phone that it was safe at his house, because we were there on weekend.

Was I so much heedful before?
No, never had I. I still remember how I was reluctant when my sister misplaced her ear ring and was pleading me to search for it.

3.
Arguments are always an essential part of my life. I always peep in to the common issues to disagree with my peers/friends to prove that they are wrong.

But did I do that at home now?
My head nods “no". I do not need to prove my smartness at home. Harmony of opinion is just an expression of brand loyalty, the product of best husband.

4.
Irresponsibility at mom’s home can be excused as a privilege, but after marriage every women requires emotional and physical investment to identify and accept the “major transition” in her life. I unknowingly intimate to conquer my life’s love but at the same time want to exile more in my professional life. I want to be responsible and caring like a naturalized person.

This doesn't mean that I was a rough kind of a person. What all I've felt is that it has made me more responsible and caring towards her. Earlier it was like "I'm happy"; now it is "We are happy".

I have many instances to quote the “difference” in myself, from yearning for a call to organized room. I know my priorities, life style, preferences, likes, dislikes, longings, “food habits”…….etc have undergone a major shift.

I doubt whether I lost my originality after marriage. I am convincing myself that this is a “normal change”.


- Nirnay

I need to Confess

The practice of Confession is conducted between a confessor and a priest, sometimes within a confessional box or booth. But I am using my blog.

Yes, its time I should come clean about my guilty pleasures. Some are cool, some are not. Some are masculine, some are not. Some are something I am proud to admit, some are not. These are the first 101 Confessions of my sin, or at least of sinfulness.

Confession #9
When I was a child, my dad would walk me to school. I would hop over the cracks. He told me “If I hop the crack I could break my knees”. I loved you so much. I made sure never to step on a crack.

Now I make sure I step on every crack.
But I know it won’t do anything.
I do it just to love you.

Confession #14
In my childhood, I punctured many vehicles in and around my apartment. Apology to all those neighbours who; didn't returned my cricket ball, said no for loud singing, showed me attitude, asked there kid not to play with me and said I am spoiled and a poor student too.

Confession #21
I loved many girls during my short life, but never said to anyone. I always guessed they didn't love me. It’s the worst feeling in the world to love someone and know they do not love you back. My heart still hurts.

Confession #29
In the childhood I poured two gallons of old gasoline into my backyard. I’ve done it after too... and after too. I know its bad for the environment but I did it. Actually, that gasoline was from our neighbour Thakur uncle's car. Because he told me not to touch his car.

Confession #36
I got lots-&-lots of friend in my life. Thank you to all friends, for being the best friends I could ask for, and for being random and funny and caring in your ways. You were such a best friend who single-handedly raises my family's suspicions about my sexual orientation. Please keep distance from me now.

Confession #41
I miss one summer, when she came to my neighbourhood for summer break, she used to stop-by with ice-cream or coffee or nothing at all, just for 5 or 10 minutes, just to say hello to me. Then she left after summer break. I don’t need ice-cream or coffee or 10 minutes or even 5. I just need Hello again.

Confession #50
In last few years, many times I wanted to kill myself & the reason I haven’t tried is because I know there exist some people in this world, who would kill themself if I did.

Confession #66
When I got admission in engg, it was like; once in my life im happy. I have started a whole new academy, new friends, and new area to explore. I have got more opportunities then I had before and do you know what? I am not really that bothered I have left my childhood friends behind. Yes this may seem self-centred but these new college people are so mature and with them I had chance to grow up and become an adult.

Confession #78
 To the last girl I liked; I wish I could tell her how perfect she is, and I wish it could be me who ends up being with her... I wish I could feel the warmth of her hugs. I think I love her.

Confession #98
I am lazy. I want a magic carpet or a genie in a bottle. So I wouldn't have to come downstairs to grab a coke or pizza from refrigerator.

Confession #101
Sorry to all my Project Managers for coming late everyday.

- Nirnay

Bollywood version of Movie Inception

Name: Name issue is still open and following are some suggestions:
Shola aur Inception
Inception : Some dreams lie
Om Inception Om
Inception is King
De Dana Dan Inception
Mey, mera Inception aur vo
Shootout in Inception
Ram Gopal Verma ka Inception
Ajab Inception Ki Ghazab Kahani
Inception-e-Ishq
Hum Inception dekh chuke sanam
Inception kiya to darna kya
Chak-de Inception

Movie starts with Song:
Neend mey kya hey, dream
Dream mey kya hey, idea
idea kya hey, inception heyyyyy


Background
A dark-skinned Dubai-based criminal Don Uday Shetty (Nana Patekar), has a fair-skinned sister Sanjana Shetty (Deepika Padukone). They are extremely rich and influential family. Don wants Sanjana to get married into a well-to-do family.

Dev Cobb (Sunil Shetty) is very poor and often cannot afford to cloth himself properly. He lives with his old blind mom in a village. He sees Sanjana during a football match between Mumbai and Mohan Bugan. He falls in love at first sight. With and after several denials from Sanjana, she is also in love with Dev. They decide to get married.

When Sanjana puts forward the proposal of marrying Dev Cobb, her don brother threatens to kill Dev if sanjana keeps seeing him. He wants Sanjana to marry Ram (Akashya Kumar) in Delhi, the only son of a famous neurosurgeon Dr. Ghungroo (Paresh Rawal).

When Sanjana explains the situation to Dev Cobb, he discloses the greatest secret of his life. Dev's father who was a professor of Psychology had invented a mind stealing and idea implanting technique known as "Inception". He had also taught the technique to Dev. Dev then takes Sanjana to the basement of his house, where Dev's father went in the dream world and trapped in limbo, a world of unconstructed dreams.

He thinks that he can incept the idea that Dev is the best guy for Sanjana in Don's mind.


Plot:
Hero carries a spinning top to determine whether he is awake or dreaming: in dreams, the top spins unceasingly, whereas in the real world it will eventually topple.

Hero reveals to his friends, that he is auditioning the team to perform the far more difficult act of inception: using dreams to implant an idea in Don's mind.

The objective of the inception is to convince don for marry heroin with Dev Cobb. Hero took "B'ful item dancer" (MalikaArora), a forger who can change appearance and design inside dreams and a sedative chemist friend Jay (Amitabh Bacchan).

Hero and the team share the flight with don back to Delhi (where he is going to talk to reach guy for his sister's marriage) and drug him.

They enter in hero's dream, a rainy downtown area, and kidnap don. However, they come under attack by don's trained subconscious projections, and hero is badly injured.

They immediately took a van and are sedated to enter the second dream (item dancer's), a dream within a dream, which takes place inside a hotel, where item dancer attracts don. A member stays behind at each level with synchronized kicks: Chemist friend driving the van off a bridge, Item Dance sending an elevator containing the team's sleeping bodies upwards in a zero gravity sequence.

Deep in the third-level dream, after flipping coin with same head both side Chemist friend Jay is killed by Don's army and goes into limbo.

Hero and item dancer return to the Hotel where he comes to the conclusion that Don loves her and wanted to marry item dancer and he should allow his sister to marry hero and let them live happily.

The next scene takes place back on the plane to Delhi with everyone awake and well. Don honors sister's love; and ask Dev Cobb spins his top to test reality and marry her sister.


Cast
Nana Patekar as Don (Uday Shetty)
Sunil Shetty as Hero (Dev Cobb)
Priyanka Paduka as Heroien (sanjana)
Malaika Arora as The Dancer (Special appearance in item song)
Amitabh Bacchan as Chemist (Jay-Veeru)
Nirnay Bansal as Movie Director
Sujat Dahal as Movie Producer


Soundtrack
Song Singer(s) Music Director
Hoth Shreya Ghosal Anand Raj Anand and Aadesh Shrivastava
Insha Shaan, Akruti Kakkar Himesh Reshammiya
Kola Laka Vellari Himesh Reshammiya Himesh Reshammiya


Box office
According to boxofficeindia.com, this movie will open to a massive response, it will gross more then Rs. 500 million in its first week, which exceeded Dhoom 2's opening. Within two weeks, movie will gross around Rs. 76 crores, despite facing competition from the highly successful, Aamir Khan's Taare Zameen Par and will declared a blockbuster.

My First Kiss - The Osculate

It is said that one never forgets his first kiss.

Here I am, fifteen years later I can still remember that summer night. I was in the 10th grade. Komal was in the 8th grade. She lived next to my apartment. She had a pretty face and an outstanding charm. She was an ordinary girl. I liked her. I really liked her.

The only time&place I could see her was at between the stairs of the 2nd and 3rd floor of her apartment returning from temple at 7:00 PM. Standing in a corner of stairs, I watch this angel come towards me every evening. I liked her innocence and fragility. The day she didn't appear, I felt something missing. I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness.

I never smiled, never tried to talk, never whistled or did anything unusual. I was quiet. May be because I was too busy watching her. She never said anything also. She was a good actor, and me a demanding director. I did it for "8 long months" without exception.

One day I got the news that she was moving out of her apartment and this might be her last visit to temple. I ran to the stairs again. The weather was perfect, moon was full. She came, I moved one step towards her and ironically, without thinking anything I blurted out, "I like you. I think you can't leave without me kissing you". I didn't know what to say more. It was totally impulsive, somewhat wreckless, and completely unlike me...

She looked up at me. I looked down at her. She looked up at me. I looked down at her. She didn't said any word. The longest second of my life passed between us before she smiled. She had a smile that could win millions.

I grabed her by the waist and pulled towards me.

She was shivering as if ants were climbing over her leg.

Suddenly her right duppata goes off of her shoulder; I moved my right hand from her waist and put her dupatta back on the shoulder.

I looked at her eyes. The Wind was gently blowing her hair. Her heart was racing. She was passive and shy holly.

I hugged her, I dropped down my head close to her, and then her lips touched my lips.

One curve Osculated over the other. It was a slow touch of her lip curve with mine, making a perfect Tangent.

After a while, she put her arm around me. I liked it! I liked Komal. Maybe, I loved her. I was a giddy school-boy happy for the first time in a long while.

Next day, she left Forever!

-Nirnay

What is Freedom?

Freedom means freedom to be stupid. We never need freedom to do the smart thing. We don't need freedom to eat, sleep or dance. Because Freedom means freedom to be stupid. I love my freedom of stupid.

I got my Florida driver's license few days after I came here, and I could safely drive little Nisan Altima 1996 model, which cost me just $1800. The Car is enggineered for 6'2" max, so I have only three extra inch to squeeze in. My little Altima doesn't go faster than 55 miles per hour ;). I can pull into my compact designated parking space and in my garage at any sloppy angle.

Then I bought Hummer, a four-wheel "heavy metal thunder". It is "Born in the U.S.A.". You have that feeling of being strong and safe, high on your pleather throne, above the fray, above the danger, not having to listen to anyone or anything. You have the power to run over anyone else on the road.

I also bought new line t-shirt... "Kill one of ours, I'll kill 100 of yours" :)

Now it looks like the Hummer will be no more. President Obama has taken over GM and he wants fuel economy of 35 miles per gallon. The Hummer gets like 8-12 miles per gallon. The new standards would barely allow a Hummer to run. American auto manufacturers are thinking in terms of electric vehicles so the disgusting smoke will come out of coal smokestacks many-many miles away, and not right out of the tailpipe where you can see it, smell it and enjoy it.

I'm not just sad, I'm also angry on this news. We're all making bad choices all the time, and most of mine are way stupider than yours.

There's a feeling of stupidity one gets when one sits behind the wheel of a really big stupid vehicle. It's stupid to waste that much gas. It's stupid to parade your insecurities on public roads. Hummers are stupid looking. Ya, you don't need an Attack-vehicle for the Starbucks drive through. Hummers are stupid and wasteful and if the company go away to china because no one wants it from GM, that'll be sad. It's always a little sad to lose some stupid. I love people doing stupid things that I'd never do.

It reminds me that although all over the world we humans have so much in common, so much love, and need, and desire, and compassion and loneliness, some of us still want to do things that the rest of us think are bug-nutty. Some of us want to eat sheep's heart, liver and lungs, some of us want to play poker, some of us want a Broadway music and some of us want to drive a Hummer. Yes having a Hummer is stupid, because freedom is required to drive it.

- Nirnay

I am not the Author of this article, I read it somewhere. You can claim your authorship at: nirnaybansal at gmail.com

India Without Last Name

India Without Last Name

: A Foresight in Preventing Fragmentation on Religious & Caste Lines

"A surname is a name added to a given name and is part of a full name. Many dictionaries define 'surname' as a synonym of 'family name' and 'last name'. In concentrated population, only first name for individuals is insufficient to identify an individual, therefore the first name with the last name intimates to address an individual."

To validate above theory, I tried combinations of name on Google to find one individual, but found multiple records for each name. Also typed my own name Nirnay Bansal on Google and found 2 records (including me). And that's true, there is no-way you can identify a human by the combination of few meaningful words.

I went to the history and found that, before 14th century only name, title, or epithet concluded the person's name. The Etymology Dictionary written by Douglas Harper suggest that, family name first appeared in the early 14th century. It was called “over” name. The new noun “over” or “sur" meaning “above” became “sur-Noun” and finally “surname”. Ever since many countries have adopted and enforced the use of family names including France, Netherlands (1811), Japan (1870s), Thailand (1920), and Turkey (1934).

India is a country of utmost cultural, religious and linguistic diversity. Since there was no common ground, people started adopting last names based on patronymics (Agrawala- descendants of King Agrasen), occupations (Chamar, Patwari, Purohit), caste (Pillai, Sindhi, Vaish), name of places (Marwari, Mangeskar, Kapoor) and bestowed titles (Nawabs, Rao, Thakaran).

After India gained independence, the Constitution of India listed some erstwhile groups as Scheduled Castes and Scheduled Tribes. The framers of the Constitution believed that they might deny equal opportunity in Indian society and though need reservation. It was started in India in 1902 with 50% reservation in ONLY "services" for backward classes/communities in the State of Kolhapur. The system was later extended to private and public educational institutions. At present, in day to day practice, with creamy layer theory the reservation works out to near 69%.

The quota system was fundamental in mitigating backwardness of the socially and educationally backward communities who did not have adequate representation in these services and institutions. Currently, categorization on caste or religious bases is nothing but "vote-bank politics". Recently, students in the primary and secondary schools of Muzzafarpur were even asked to mention their caste in the annual exam answersheet to avoid any discrimination between students. ouchhh.....

I tried finding out the cause of being "denied equal opportunity in Indian society" and "racial discrimination".

Answer is simple and straight... Caste/Religion.

Then I tried finding root cause of this cause.

And the answer I found is, "Last name". Yes, actually last name discriminate caste and religions.

You never being discriminated, never being denied respect, never loose opportunity in Indian society... iff you get rid of last name. Can we get rid of this great cause of all the problems?

Why not. We can, infact we did similar things in the past. Whenever last names became a liability to threaten human existence or to impose restrictions and deny equal opportunities to the people, they have been either removed or modified. Few well known examples are:

1. Jews, Chinese Indonesians and Thais replaced there surnames to avoid prosecution during World War II.

2. Many people from Tamil Nadu and Kerala use initials in front of their names to avoid cast discrimination. For ex "Prashantha A", where "A" might stands for Anjuri (OBC), Arji (OBC), Adusumilli (General), Adapa (ST) or etc.

3. Dravidian movement. Since many companies in the industry managed to filter candidates just by looking at their names, the Dravidian movement in the beginning of 20th century was instrumental in knocking off the concept of surnames from TamilNadu.

If we did it in the past, then why can't we do it now? After removing last name, you might face initial problems, either in filling application for passport or within the society. But let's join Indonesia, where some Indonesians still don't have last name. Going forward in life they just use Dr. Er. Jr. or Ir. (BSc in Arts) as last name in there passport and other Govt Documents. Some Javanese also use there parents first name as part their full name. On the birth certificate, the child's name would be written as:

Rita child of Jon and Angela

On a diploma and certificate, the child's name would be written as:

Rita child of Jon

They never want you to be united. Do you remember "Divide and Rule" policy? Instead of solving country's problem of denied respect and discrimination, politicians are increasing problems by categorising us. Let's gather and remove last name. Let's deny mentioning your caste in UID (Aadhaar) program of India. Let's stop writing last name of your kids during admissions in school and give your child a discrimination free India.

Politicians have their five year plan, Do you have yours?

- Nirnay

- Sujat (MD)

(without last name)

Special Thanks to: Kalavathi, Anurag

Marriage Economics

I actually want to say that India is probably one of the most materialistic civilizations where prestige and status is defined by wealth and all other good stuffs. Materialism and superficiality are not new in my subcontinent. The levels are just being magnified now. Let me tell you the hidden truth, the idea that Indians are really spiritual people, is just marketing.

I am talking about Marriage Economics "A dissertation".

The costs of marriage are adding up day-by-day and becoming a multi-million Rupee (INR) celebration (does anyone really want to call this "insanity" a celebration). There are so many customs and traditions that the Indian's (yes, Hindu, Muslim, Punjabi's etc) take into account. Sagai (book a hall, buy gifts and sweets for other family), Mehandhi (hire mehendhiwalas, they don't come cheap), Ladies Night (book a hall, hire a DJ), Marriage (clothes for bride or groom, jewellery often 22 carat gold, hire of a venue or hall, hire of a DJ) and many more items such as the reception and gifting to guests.

I think there added pressure when a NRI get marry. They make wedding ultra expensive to show there relatives that, they are doing well financially. Waoooooo one more example of frivolity of Indians.

So why these idiots do it?

Absolutely correct "ego". Ego has a huge factor on the wish for big weddings

a) To show off one's alleged wealth and thinks horror of horrors, people will think that we "can't afford it".

b) So that people/community/"samaaj" don't think that one is too miserly to splash out on an expensive wedding for one's children.

My brother said, There's a lot of stuff people spend money at wedding that isn't about the core of a wedding, which is getting family and friends together and celebrating.

Ohh so you spent 10 lkh Rupee on a get-together party.... haha ha hahaa. Give me the gun, I wanna shoot myself.

My roome argued one day; Nirnay, it's the most special day a couple can have and so why shouldn't it be over the top and expensive. Sometimes it's the simple things in life that make you truly happy. Down the line in life, when you look back, you will be chrish to remember your wedding day.

ohhh ohhh now don't play game of emotional "atyachar", which you learned from "rotlu" Sharukh Khan. Let's talk in figures. Average couple is 26 years old, so the money would have roughly 40-50 years to grow. Couples who lay out the median cost of a wedding nearly INR 10,00,000 in 2009, actually missing:

Actually missing 37.5 Crore to 167.7 Crore in wealth accumulation over a lifetime by One Time Investment Plan from ICICI Prudential.

OR

Lets don't talk about private players... they assure you something, then suddenly ditch you. Let's take Post Office Saving, which doubles money every 7-8 years.

So 10,00,000 becomes 3.2 Crore in 40 yrs or 6.4 Crore in 50 yrs.

OR

Actually missing 4.5 Crore to 11.7 Crore in wealth accumulation over a lifetime by Jeevan Aastha policy from LIC. (LIC is Govt organization, it is fully owned by the Government of India)

(http://www.bankrate.com/calculators/retirement/roi-calculator.aspx)

My friend Anurag told me; laa-l-la-laa... Nirnay is an idiot, Nirnay is an idiot. Who will gonna calculate the Rate of Inflation.... laa-l-la-laa...

So my dear friend, Nirnay is not an idiot. Let's calculate money after Rate of Inflation. (I found data for last 30 years only from 1980 to 2009). Average inflation rate of last 30 years was 8.004% per annum with minimum 3.77% in 2001 and maximum 13.23 in 1998.

So, couples who lay out the median cost of a wedding nearly INR 10,00,000 in 2009:

After average inflation of 8%, actually missing, 16 Crore to 34 Crore via ICICI Prudential or 4 Crore to 5 Crore via Jeevan Aastha policy from LIC.

(http://www.moneychimp.com/calculator/compound_interest_calculator.htm)

Can you believe, Total number of marriages performed in India in 2007 are 1 crore and Total number of reported marriages through shaadi.com in 2007 is 7.2 lakh.

Now you know, your crazyness cost you and India between 5-150 Crores per marriage. And then multiply this to 7.2 lkh marriages from shaadi.com and count the zeros. (Just leave 1 crore marriage as of now ;) )

Indians you have to realise that you have to stop pretending and spending your life savings on proving you are just as good as others!

Well, to be honest with you, I still want to spend this much money on my marriage, but then instead of this holocaust and show-off, I just want to give a engagement ring cost more then 5 Lkh to my bridge, by diamond producer De Beers. From me..... A BIG no-no for foolhardiness and thoughtless 2-3 day wedding.

On my last serious note, along the commitment to "honour and cherish" we should add a new vow: "Before spending seven figures -- on a lavish party or anything else -- I promise to ponder whether the expense aligns with our deepest values and enhances or compromises our and countries financial well-being."

An Indian,

Nirnay Bansal

mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye

mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye
tum Vista ka desktop ho, main cobol ke screen priye,
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye

tum Ajax ka postback ho, main asp ka form post hoon
tum .Net ka IDE ho, main Java ka edit plus hoon
tum oracle ka 'scott' ho, maun hoon sql ka 'sa' priye
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye

tum C# ka clean code ho, main java ka complex logic hoon
tum silverlight ka player ho, main window media player hoon
tum smooth playback karti priye, main ruk-ruk kar chalta video priye
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye

tum google ka search engine ho, main search engine Bing hoon,
tum MSDN ke help file, main java ka documentation hoon,
tum Intel quad procesor ho, main hoon intel celeron priye
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye

tum outlook ka mailbox ho, main to lotus notes hoon
tum skype video chat ho, mein yahoo video chat hoon
tum winzip file format ho, mein hoon winrar ka format priye
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye

tum billiable resource ho, main bench par betha developer hoon,
tum onsite coordinator ho, main offshore ka tester hoon,
tum company mey consultant ho, main hoon company ka employee priye
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye

tum PM ka cabin ho, mey office ka cubical hoon
tum nescafe ke coffe ho, mey to baas cut chai hoon
tum AC mey bethti ho, mere upper PSPO ka fan priye
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye

tumare paas H1b visa hey, mera B1 ho gaya reject priye
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye

-Nirnay

Expiration Date

The most enduring motif of this blog is the expiration date. We all heed them. I know I don’t purchase my grocery without checking the expiration date. However, I realized everyone else in this world also comes with an expiration date... From expiration date of milk, to the expiration date of a hug.

I lived rough. With 1 week clock. Whether I am dating, living with someone, or even engaged, I start looking elsewhere around the 1 week line. (I know, you guys don't like me with these kinds of thoughts.... but if ogres are like onions, then so am I.)

Then suddenly she comes in my life.... we had all the love for each other that one heart could possibly hold. But she came with Expiration date as well. And why not, even Empires come with timestamp.

She was like genie. And this genie was way too big to put in the bottle. She loves her freedom way too much to let herself be confined.

ohh yaa, Freedom.... I warn you. Once you experience the freedom, you really can’t go back.

Staying alone v/s freedom is like Social drinker v/s an alcoholic. One knows what he is doing and the other doesn’t care what he is doing because he doesn't care.

I loved her like macaroni and cheese. But now, I don't care. I found my unique sense of happiness in my own unique place being my own unique self.

- Nirnay

I am comming home

I have so much to tell you about THIS India tour...but my work got me so god damned busy right now. Well, in short, after two long years, I'm finally going home!

I lived rough.

Before coming here, I would have never thought that I would even be remotely homesick, but I have managed to stay up here through every season. This "time off" will be good for me.

I have "time off" in quotation marks because my situation truly is a mixed blessing. I go home (Noida, India) today (5th), truly go home (Indore, India) on the 9th Nov, I'll drive my new car (Ford Fiesta 2009) (YESSSS!!!) on July 10th, will go to Mumbai on 21st and Goa on 28th and finally have to return to Tampa back on 4th Dec. As you can see, I will hardly have time to relax. I am only going to get to sleep in my bed one time till the December.

At my office, a massively long product release is coming. I've been working since the start of Sep-07, and that's me just going back now. Manager says, can I hold my vacation for few more weeks to provide proper support to developers.
I said "NO"..... At any rate, for me it’s time to go back to the real world.

He laughed and said, Nirnay what if I disapprove your application.
I replied, Ek kagaj par mohar nahi lageyge to kya Tara India nahi jaigaaaa..... (Dialogue from Gadar-2001)

(5th Nov-2009) It is about 8:30 AM here at the PwC Tampa office, my last final checkin in source safe will be at 2:00 PM, and I'm going home around 3:00 PM. Then to airport at 5:00 PM and...... waoooooo that makes me excited. Ohh damn, not that kind of excitement where you have to loose your pant so that no-one see your di#k. But other kind of excitement where you want everyone to see you.....

I promise to update you all with tons of photos and videos when I return.

But before I say I am happy to go there, I have a question, or, you can say my greatest fear in confessing sin:
Who is waiting for me at the other end?
And Who is waiting here for me to comeback.

I know..... No-one.

-Nirnay

I am Encage or have wings to Fly

For those who’ve watched the new movie "New York", life in the US initially felt the same: "Arrested". Though America didn't detain me from the airport....... actually they did not give any wings to fly either.

I was stripped of the very rights that defined my existence:

a) right to work with any employer and earn my living,
b) right to vote and make a difference to the life around me,
c) right to study while I am in job to challenge the fast paced market,
d) and right to LOVE....

My wings were officially clipped. It what was supposed to be a honeymoon seemed pretty much like a nightmare initially. My house of cards was tumbling.

Everything began to seem unreal... purposeless.... a sham. The whole thing a lie. The way I lived. The fake smiles... the whole charade.

Sometimes I woke up... some part of me woke up and looked around, not understanding anything. How did I get here? Who's stuff is this? Why do I live like this?

The days disappear sometimes. Sometimes too fast... sometimes too painfully slow.

But the first rule of survival as they say is adaptation. And that is where my life began. I met new people, networked. Not exactly the plan I had for my career, but it was a start. At least I was learning the norms and rules of this new country.

I got my driver’s license after failing 2 times in written exam ;). Getting my own car and being able to go from one place to another was really like being born again. Also I learned to cook, do my own laundry, and do the grocery. Funnily being able to do these inane chores on my own makes me feel more independent and in control of my life.

Chanakya shares his observation of how a lion, once it sets eye on its prey, chases it rapidly, holds it tight in its paw and doesn't release the grip till the prey is dead. I applied this theory to my everyday life. Chanakya said, focusing on your work, not caring about other stuff and I assure you success.

In India I had everything: a caring family, an electric group of friends and rightful citizenship. But I lacked the ability to value what I had. And value for my homeland is the biggest gift America has given me. Well, I don't know how it slipped away there. But thinking back I can't remember a time when I realized that it was absent. I can recall a few times of claiming that I had lost my inspiration.

With all these chaos in India, why do I go back?
My reply is simple: Perhaps when I go back, it won't seem so chaotic anymore.

Finally when I do the math of what I have lost and what I have gained. This is a simple thought of my complex mind.... no no..... this is complex thought of my simple mind. I am Encage or have wings to fly.

Nirnay
nirnay@techvalens.com
twitter: Nirnaybansal
gtalk: nirnaybansal
msn: nirnaybansal

Friend's Friend, are not my Friend

It was 21st Jan 1983, doctors accurately calculated the due date. The date for my first day in this unknown world. But as you all know, I can't be on time. It's my idiosyncrasies to be late always.

Everyone is at hospital. It was a Lovely morning of 22nd Jan 1983, when the round planet Earth turned toward morning sky, whirling past darkness, spinning the night into light. "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself" but who can tell this to my dad. He was Stopping, Thinking and Walking, then Praying, Thinking and Walking, then thinking, talking and walking..... Finally 10 hr and 58 minutes late my parent blessed with a son! Nirnay, Nirnay Bansal.

My mom holds me close and whispered in my open, curving ear, "We are so glad you've come!"

And they started introducing me to many people around me. Though this was Saturday (weekend) everyone camedown to hospital. My uncles, his wife, grandma & grandpa and my uncle/aunt (Bua/Phupaji, Chacha/chachi, Nana/nane, Mausa/Mausi, Kaka/kake, Mama/mami etc etc etc)

I started crying. My dad asked, "Hey Nirnay! What happen? Aren't you happy that lot of relatives standing behind you? They are waiting to meet you from so long, they love you crazy...."

I replied, "Dad, I am sorry. But I don't know who they are, what they do, does they really love me? Do they help me fix if I did something stupid?”
I NEVER realized just how important the relatives are.

Dad replied, "But the way we grew up, families didn’t have anyone other then relatives. You have no choice other then to accept them."

I asked, "But Dad, then what I will do in this world. You gave me everything. I don't want to live then."

On my words, mom-dad gets afraid. They resigned on my innocent face and fact full question. My dad replied, "Ok my dear son, I am giving you opportunity to make a new relation with unlimited peoples, called FRIEND!!"

I asked, "What does this FRIEND means? What kind of relation is this?"

He said, "A friend is a tender shoulder on which to softly cry. A well to pour your troubles down and raise your spirits high. A friend is a hand to pull you up from darkness and despair".... "My dear son, choose your own friends, don't ever INHERIT them"

For most of my life, I knew that I was "other," not quite like everyone else. I searched for years for answers and one fine day I found that,

"Friend's Friend, are not my Friend"


Nirnay Bansal

Indian Infrastructure Milstones

Bastards: HCC and politians.

Bandra-Worli sea link, 5.6 Km in 10 years (1.5 meter per day)

Jai Congress!
Jai HCC!
Jai Maharastra!
and

Jai Hind!

Madoff vs Kasab. or US vs India

Madoff pleaded guilty on Mar 12, charged 150 yr on Jun 29. Amir Kasab attacked India on Nov 26, We are still runing trail.

Jai Hind!

My Love Story

This story is about me, searching for LOVE. To be honest with you guys, I tried many times since my college days, a lovely Jain, a half-drunker Sinha, a foxy Khandelwal, a rigid Tripathi and a half-baked Goyal, but I never been lucky :(. This time my pray is exciting & appealing Devika. You know, I am well settled and well mannered stud guy (ok ok, lets assume this), then why I never being hooked up? Well, I know the reason. Actually I am more friendly then more Loveable... so girls came to my life, made me Best Friend, Bestest friend and bestestest friend and then went & get laid, slept or married to someone else. hey hey, No more sentii..... ok ok, I know, now you wanna say, Good luck Nirnay! for Devika.

Here is a small conversation between me and her. See how your above "wish" worked at me.

I was waiting in a coffee-bar, and Devika is as usual late.
My Brain: "28 minutes late!!", "Nirnay, Last time you were 5 mins late and she had literally gobbled you up. Remember?"
Nirnay: "Yeah yeah", "You know her... all moody and stuff .... But she is pronounced flavored… forget about time brainy"
My Brain: "Scold her OK?"
Nirnay: "OK, I will try"
Sweete comes with the cute smile and said: "I'm sorry honey.... I was shopping for shoes... totally forgot about you"
My Brain shouted: "What if you had said that line buddy?", "she would have had a nervous breakdown"
Nirnay ignored brain and said: "Its OK honey... its only half an hour... no problem"
Sweete smiled once again, hold my hand and asked: "in her excessively warm tone, Hope you remember what occasion is today"
Nirnay thought: "OMG!!!", "Hey Brain, help me yaar"
My Brain: Searching database for reminders, silly anniversaries, birthdays and birthdays of his violent ex-boyfriends, my manipulative ex-girlfriends, and fearsome relatives. My Brain got into action... he started delegating work to different parts.... parallel processing... multiple searches........ Google search..... Multithreading.... Multitasking...... quad processes running..... Complete memory scan..... On all FAT32 and FAT64 partitions.
Sweete Stared at me: "Hello!! You have been staring at me for 2 minutes now... you OK?"
Nirnay: "Huh!!!", "Oh... nothing's wrong... was lost in thoughts"
(My Brain said from back: Sorry Bro, No records found. Bad command or file name)
Nirnay: "Damn!! How can you do this with me Brainy", "Go f**k yourself"
Sweete Asked: "So what say... how do we celebrate this day?"
Nirnay confused: "?????"
My Brain said: "Ask her... dumbo?"
Nirnay: "OK OK ...stop pushing me", "let me handle this..."
Nirnay smiled and said: "Honey ... You know, my lousy memory... I guess I can’t recall what today is"
Sweete getting wild: "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", and started crying.
Sweete Shouted: "How could you forget!!? ..... It’s my doggie’s birthday"
Nirnay A moment of silence: "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

My entire Brain staff was laughing at me. I was dumbfounded.
Nirnay to my Brain: "Yaar dost, what the hell am I supposed to do know?", "You also left me alone, atleast do something now"
My Brain: "Damage control sequence initialized... all memory initiated with variables, don’t worry our specialist will comeback with the perfect line to make everything all right"
Nirnay to Brainy: "Better do it fast... brainy"

The brain was working with 100% CPU usage.... gathering and analyzing all data on 'How to handle girls?' Finally an answer was computed and communicated to me.

Nirnay said: "Of Course I remember your doggie’s b'day Paro.... how I can forget that sweet mutt's special day"
Sweete looked up with utter surprise: "HUH!!!!!!!....... Doggy is the name of my cat you jerk"

She stood up angrily and left.
Me and my nebulous brain were left there clueless....

My Brain: "Sorry Nirnay, she gone, lets try on someone else.... Hey, How about stun looking Neha from Delhi ;)". She is coy and seductive, especially without any drama or elegance. She is like softness of clothes and the repose of the atmosphere. Baas…. baas….

Does anyone wanna say me, Good Luck Nirnay! this time????

Nirnay