Marriage Economics

I actually want to say that India is probably one of the most materialistic civilizations where prestige and status is defined by wealth and all other good stuffs. Materialism and superficiality are not new in my subcontinent. The levels are just being magnified now. Let me tell you the hidden truth, the idea that Indians are really spiritual people, is just marketing.

I am talking about Marriage Economics "A dissertation".

The costs of marriage are adding up day-by-day and becoming a multi-million Rupee (INR) celebration (does anyone really want to call this "insanity" a celebration). There are so many customs and traditions that the Indian's (yes, Hindu, Muslim, Punjabi's etc) take into account. Sagai (book a hall, buy gifts and sweets for other family), Mehandhi (hire mehendhiwalas, they don't come cheap), Ladies Night (book a hall, hire a DJ), Marriage (clothes for bride or groom, jewellery often 22 carat gold, hire of a venue or hall, hire of a DJ) and many more items such as the reception and gifting to guests.

I think there added pressure when a NRI get marry. They make wedding ultra expensive to show there relatives that, they are doing well financially. Waoooooo one more example of frivolity of Indians.

So why these idiots do it?

Absolutely correct "ego". Ego has a huge factor on the wish for big weddings

a) To show off one's alleged wealth and thinks horror of horrors, people will think that we "can't afford it".

b) So that people/community/"samaaj" don't think that one is too miserly to splash out on an expensive wedding for one's children.

My brother said, There's a lot of stuff people spend money at wedding that isn't about the core of a wedding, which is getting family and friends together and celebrating.

Ohh so you spent 10 lkh Rupee on a get-together party.... haha ha hahaa. Give me the gun, I wanna shoot myself.

My roome argued one day; Nirnay, it's the most special day a couple can have and so why shouldn't it be over the top and expensive. Sometimes it's the simple things in life that make you truly happy. Down the line in life, when you look back, you will be chrish to remember your wedding day.

ohhh ohhh now don't play game of emotional "atyachar", which you learned from "rotlu" Sharukh Khan. Let's talk in figures. Average couple is 26 years old, so the money would have roughly 40-50 years to grow. Couples who lay out the median cost of a wedding nearly INR 10,00,000 in 2009, actually missing:

Actually missing 37.5 Crore to 167.7 Crore in wealth accumulation over a lifetime by One Time Investment Plan from ICICI Prudential.

OR

Lets don't talk about private players... they assure you something, then suddenly ditch you. Let's take Post Office Saving, which doubles money every 7-8 years.

So 10,00,000 becomes 3.2 Crore in 40 yrs or 6.4 Crore in 50 yrs.

OR

Actually missing 4.5 Crore to 11.7 Crore in wealth accumulation over a lifetime by Jeevan Aastha policy from LIC. (LIC is Govt organization, it is fully owned by the Government of India)

(http://www.bankrate.com/calculators/retirement/roi-calculator.aspx)

My friend Anurag told me; laa-l-la-laa... Nirnay is an idiot, Nirnay is an idiot. Who will gonna calculate the Rate of Inflation.... laa-l-la-laa...

So my dear friend, Nirnay is not an idiot. Let's calculate money after Rate of Inflation. (I found data for last 30 years only from 1980 to 2009). Average inflation rate of last 30 years was 8.004% per annum with minimum 3.77% in 2001 and maximum 13.23 in 1998.

So, couples who lay out the median cost of a wedding nearly INR 10,00,000 in 2009:

After average inflation of 8%, actually missing, 16 Crore to 34 Crore via ICICI Prudential or 4 Crore to 5 Crore via Jeevan Aastha policy from LIC.

(http://www.moneychimp.com/calculator/compound_interest_calculator.htm)

Can you believe, Total number of marriages performed in India in 2007 are 1 crore and Total number of reported marriages through shaadi.com in 2007 is 7.2 lakh.

Now you know, your crazyness cost you and India between 5-150 Crores per marriage. And then multiply this to 7.2 lkh marriages from shaadi.com and count the zeros. (Just leave 1 crore marriage as of now ;) )

Indians you have to realise that you have to stop pretending and spending your life savings on proving you are just as good as others!

Well, to be honest with you, I still want to spend this much money on my marriage, but then instead of this holocaust and show-off, I just want to give a engagement ring cost more then 5 Lkh to my bridge, by diamond producer De Beers. From me..... A BIG no-no for foolhardiness and thoughtless 2-3 day wedding.

On my last serious note, along the commitment to "honour and cherish" we should add a new vow: "Before spending seven figures -- on a lavish party or anything else -- I promise to ponder whether the expense aligns with our deepest values and enhances or compromises our and countries financial well-being."

An Indian,

Nirnay Bansal

mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye

mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye
tum Vista ka desktop ho, main cobol ke screen priye,
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye

tum Ajax ka postback ho, main asp ka form post hoon
tum .Net ka IDE ho, main Java ka edit plus hoon
tum oracle ka 'scott' ho, maun hoon sql ka 'sa' priye
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye

tum C# ka clean code ho, main java ka complex logic hoon
tum silverlight ka player ho, main window media player hoon
tum smooth playback karti priye, main ruk-ruk kar chalta video priye
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye

tum google ka search engine ho, main search engine Bing hoon,
tum MSDN ke help file, main java ka documentation hoon,
tum Intel quad procesor ho, main hoon intel celeron priye
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye

tum outlook ka mailbox ho, main to lotus notes hoon
tum skype video chat ho, mein yahoo video chat hoon
tum winzip file format ho, mein hoon winrar ka format priye
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye

tum billiable resource ho, main bench par betha developer hoon,
tum onsite coordinator ho, main offshore ka tester hoon,
tum company mey consultant ho, main hoon company ka employee priye
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye

tum PM ka cabin ho, mey office ka cubical hoon
tum nescafe ke coffe ho, mey to baas cut chai hoon
tum AC mey bethti ho, mere upper PSPO ka fan priye
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye

tumare paas H1b visa hey, mera B1 ho gaya reject priye
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye

-Nirnay

Expiration Date

The most enduring motif of this blog is the expiration date. We all heed them. I know I don’t purchase my grocery without checking the expiration date. However, I realized everyone else in this world also comes with an expiration date... From expiration date of milk, to the expiration date of a hug.

I lived rough. With 1 week clock. Whether I am dating, living with someone, or even engaged, I start looking elsewhere around the 1 week line. (I know, you guys don't like me with these kinds of thoughts.... but if ogres are like onions, then so am I.)

Then suddenly she comes in my life.... we had all the love for each other that one heart could possibly hold. But she came with Expiration date as well. And why not, even Empires come with timestamp.

She was like genie. And this genie was way too big to put in the bottle. She loves her freedom way too much to let herself be confined.

ohh yaa, Freedom.... I warn you. Once you experience the freedom, you really can’t go back.

Staying alone v/s freedom is like Social drinker v/s an alcoholic. One knows what he is doing and the other doesn’t care what he is doing because he doesn't care.

I loved her like macaroni and cheese. But now, I don't care. I found my unique sense of happiness in my own unique place being my own unique self.

- Nirnay

I am comming home

I have so much to tell you about THIS India tour...but my work got me so god damned busy right now. Well, in short, after two long years, I'm finally going home!

I lived rough.

Before coming here, I would have never thought that I would even be remotely homesick, but I have managed to stay up here through every season. This "time off" will be good for me.

I have "time off" in quotation marks because my situation truly is a mixed blessing. I go home (Noida, India) today (5th), truly go home (Indore, India) on the 9th Nov, I'll drive my new car (Ford Fiesta 2009) (YESSSS!!!) on July 10th, will go to Mumbai on 21st and Goa on 28th and finally have to return to Tampa back on 4th Dec. As you can see, I will hardly have time to relax. I am only going to get to sleep in my bed one time till the December.

At my office, a massively long product release is coming. I've been working since the start of Sep-07, and that's me just going back now. Manager says, can I hold my vacation for few more weeks to provide proper support to developers.
I said "NO"..... At any rate, for me it’s time to go back to the real world.

He laughed and said, Nirnay what if I disapprove your application.
I replied, Ek kagaj par mohar nahi lageyge to kya Tara India nahi jaigaaaa..... (Dialogue from Gadar-2001)

(5th Nov-2009) It is about 8:30 AM here at the PwC Tampa office, my last final checkin in source safe will be at 2:00 PM, and I'm going home around 3:00 PM. Then to airport at 5:00 PM and...... waoooooo that makes me excited. Ohh damn, not that kind of excitement where you have to loose your pant so that no-one see your di#k. But other kind of excitement where you want everyone to see you.....

I promise to update you all with tons of photos and videos when I return.

But before I say I am happy to go there, I have a question, or, you can say my greatest fear in confessing sin:
Who is waiting for me at the other end?
And Who is waiting here for me to comeback.

I know..... No-one.

-Nirnay

I am Encage or have wings to Fly

For those who’ve watched the new movie "New York", life in the US initially felt the same: "Arrested". Though America didn't detain me from the airport....... actually they did not give any wings to fly either.

I was stripped of the very rights that defined my existence:

a) right to work with any employer and earn my living,
b) right to vote and make a difference to the life around me,
c) right to study while I am in job to challenge the fast paced market,
d) and right to LOVE....

My wings were officially clipped. It what was supposed to be a honeymoon seemed pretty much like a nightmare initially. My house of cards was tumbling.

Everything began to seem unreal... purposeless.... a sham. The whole thing a lie. The way I lived. The fake smiles... the whole charade.

Sometimes I woke up... some part of me woke up and looked around, not understanding anything. How did I get here? Who's stuff is this? Why do I live like this?

The days disappear sometimes. Sometimes too fast... sometimes too painfully slow.

But the first rule of survival as they say is adaptation. And that is where my life began. I met new people, networked. Not exactly the plan I had for my career, but it was a start. At least I was learning the norms and rules of this new country.

I got my driver’s license after failing 2 times in written exam ;). Getting my own car and being able to go from one place to another was really like being born again. Also I learned to cook, do my own laundry, and do the grocery. Funnily being able to do these inane chores on my own makes me feel more independent and in control of my life.

Chanakya shares his observation of how a lion, once it sets eye on its prey, chases it rapidly, holds it tight in its paw and doesn't release the grip till the prey is dead. I applied this theory to my everyday life. Chanakya said, focusing on your work, not caring about other stuff and I assure you success.

In India I had everything: a caring family, an electric group of friends and rightful citizenship. But I lacked the ability to value what I had. And value for my homeland is the biggest gift America has given me. Well, I don't know how it slipped away there. But thinking back I can't remember a time when I realized that it was absent. I can recall a few times of claiming that I had lost my inspiration.

With all these chaos in India, why do I go back?
My reply is simple: Perhaps when I go back, it won't seem so chaotic anymore.

Finally when I do the math of what I have lost and what I have gained. This is a simple thought of my complex mind.... no no..... this is complex thought of my simple mind. I am Encage or have wings to fly.

Nirnay
nirnay@techvalens.com
twitter: Nirnaybansal
gtalk: nirnaybansal
msn: nirnaybansal

Friend's Friend, are not my Friend

It was 21st Jan 1983, doctors accurately calculated the due date. The date for my first day in this unknown world. But as you all know, I can't be on time. It's my idiosyncrasies to be late always.

Everyone is at hospital. It was a Lovely morning of 22nd Jan 1983, when the round planet Earth turned toward morning sky, whirling past darkness, spinning the night into light. "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself" but who can tell this to my dad. He was Stopping, Thinking and Walking, then Praying, Thinking and Walking, then thinking, talking and walking..... Finally 10 hr and 58 minutes late my parent blessed with a son! Nirnay, Nirnay Bansal.

My mom holds me close and whispered in my open, curving ear, "We are so glad you've come!"

And they started introducing me to many people around me. Though this was Saturday (weekend) everyone camedown to hospital. My uncles, his wife, grandma & grandpa and my uncle/aunt (Bua/Phupaji, Chacha/chachi, Nana/nane, Mausa/Mausi, Kaka/kake, Mama/mami etc etc etc)

I started crying. My dad asked, "Hey Nirnay! What happen? Aren't you happy that lot of relatives standing behind you? They are waiting to meet you from so long, they love you crazy...."

I replied, "Dad, I am sorry. But I don't know who they are, what they do, does they really love me? Do they help me fix if I did something stupid?”
I NEVER realized just how important the relatives are.

Dad replied, "But the way we grew up, families didn’t have anyone other then relatives. You have no choice other then to accept them."

I asked, "But Dad, then what I will do in this world. You gave me everything. I don't want to live then."

On my words, mom-dad gets afraid. They resigned on my innocent face and fact full question. My dad replied, "Ok my dear son, I am giving you opportunity to make a new relation with unlimited peoples, called FRIEND!!"

I asked, "What does this FRIEND means? What kind of relation is this?"

He said, "A friend is a tender shoulder on which to softly cry. A well to pour your troubles down and raise your spirits high. A friend is a hand to pull you up from darkness and despair".... "My dear son, choose your own friends, don't ever INHERIT them"

For most of my life, I knew that I was "other," not quite like everyone else. I searched for years for answers and one fine day I found that,

"Friend's Friend, are not my Friend"


Nirnay Bansal

Indian Infrastructure Milstones

Bastards: HCC and politians.

Bandra-Worli sea link, 5.6 Km in 10 years (1.5 meter per day)

Jai Congress!
Jai HCC!
Jai Maharastra!
and

Jai Hind!

Madoff vs Kasab. or US vs India

Madoff pleaded guilty on Mar 12, charged 150 yr on Jun 29. Amir Kasab attacked India on Nov 26, We are still runing trail.

Jai Hind!

My Love Story

This story is about me, searching for LOVE. To be honest with you guys, I tried many times since my college days, a lovely Jain, a half-drunker Sinha, a foxy Khandelwal, a rigid Tripathi and a half-baked Goyal, but I never been lucky :(. This time my pray is exciting & appealing Devika. You know, I am well settled and well mannered stud guy (ok ok, lets assume this), then why I never being hooked up? Well, I know the reason. Actually I am more friendly then more Loveable... so girls came to my life, made me Best Friend, Bestest friend and bestestest friend and then went & get laid, slept or married to someone else. hey hey, No more sentii..... ok ok, I know, now you wanna say, Good luck Nirnay! for Devika.

Here is a small conversation between me and her. See how your above "wish" worked at me.

I was waiting in a coffee-bar, and Devika is as usual late.
My Brain: "28 minutes late!!", "Nirnay, Last time you were 5 mins late and she had literally gobbled you up. Remember?"
Nirnay: "Yeah yeah", "You know her... all moody and stuff .... But she is pronounced flavored… forget about time brainy"
My Brain: "Scold her OK?"
Nirnay: "OK, I will try"
Sweete comes with the cute smile and said: "I'm sorry honey.... I was shopping for shoes... totally forgot about you"
My Brain shouted: "What if you had said that line buddy?", "she would have had a nervous breakdown"
Nirnay ignored brain and said: "Its OK honey... its only half an hour... no problem"
Sweete smiled once again, hold my hand and asked: "in her excessively warm tone, Hope you remember what occasion is today"
Nirnay thought: "OMG!!!", "Hey Brain, help me yaar"
My Brain: Searching database for reminders, silly anniversaries, birthdays and birthdays of his violent ex-boyfriends, my manipulative ex-girlfriends, and fearsome relatives. My Brain got into action... he started delegating work to different parts.... parallel processing... multiple searches........ Google search..... Multithreading.... Multitasking...... quad processes running..... Complete memory scan..... On all FAT32 and FAT64 partitions.
Sweete Stared at me: "Hello!! You have been staring at me for 2 minutes now... you OK?"
Nirnay: "Huh!!!", "Oh... nothing's wrong... was lost in thoughts"
(My Brain said from back: Sorry Bro, No records found. Bad command or file name)
Nirnay: "Damn!! How can you do this with me Brainy", "Go f**k yourself"
Sweete Asked: "So what say... how do we celebrate this day?"
Nirnay confused: "?????"
My Brain said: "Ask her... dumbo?"
Nirnay: "OK OK ...stop pushing me", "let me handle this..."
Nirnay smiled and said: "Honey ... You know, my lousy memory... I guess I can’t recall what today is"
Sweete getting wild: "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", and started crying.
Sweete Shouted: "How could you forget!!? ..... It’s my doggie’s birthday"
Nirnay A moment of silence: "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

My entire Brain staff was laughing at me. I was dumbfounded.
Nirnay to my Brain: "Yaar dost, what the hell am I supposed to do know?", "You also left me alone, atleast do something now"
My Brain: "Damage control sequence initialized... all memory initiated with variables, don’t worry our specialist will comeback with the perfect line to make everything all right"
Nirnay to Brainy: "Better do it fast... brainy"

The brain was working with 100% CPU usage.... gathering and analyzing all data on 'How to handle girls?' Finally an answer was computed and communicated to me.

Nirnay said: "Of Course I remember your doggie’s b'day Paro.... how I can forget that sweet mutt's special day"
Sweete looked up with utter surprise: "HUH!!!!!!!....... Doggy is the name of my cat you jerk"

She stood up angrily and left.
Me and my nebulous brain were left there clueless....

My Brain: "Sorry Nirnay, she gone, lets try on someone else.... Hey, How about stun looking Neha from Delhi ;)". She is coy and seductive, especially without any drama or elegance. She is like softness of clothes and the repose of the atmosphere. Baas…. baas….

Does anyone wanna say me, Good Luck Nirnay! this time????

Nirnay

THURSDAY! (a True Story)

Here is One More Day in my Life. As bland as most will not believe. You all know it's my idiosyncrasies to be late always. So I entered in office at 9:30 AM (I'm not late, if you go by Pacific Standard Time.). Today's excuse will be "I fell asleep in the shower". (That's funny, but I did this many times)

Ok. So I entered in office. Very first person saw me is Katie again, as always she looks mesmerizing ;) and she asked "Hey Nirnay! Why you are in formal dress today..."
What? Is this "Casual Friday"...? I said. And she cracked down on me. On casual Friday I usually wear nice jeans and a T-Shirt. I lied her that, "I was concerned about my career; consequently, I was more concerned with looking professional than looking cute or trendy on Friday". But hey, hey.... I worked only 3 days this week and today is 4th day. It must be Thursday.

I headed towards my cube, with random stuff going through my head. Its Thursday or Friday? If this is Friday, then what was yesterday? and if yesterday was Thursday, then where is Wednesday. Holly s**...Wait... Wednesday I fixed 5 bugs, so Wednesday I worked, but Thursday I fixed no bug... Ass h** how can I fix bug on Thursday, because its today... But Katie told me its Friday.

I ran towards my cube. Opened my Visual Source Safe and checked the stuff I checked-in last working day. My last check-in was Wednesday 5:30 PM. Waoooo, so today is Thursday. Now I moved towards Katie to punch her. I now reached, and flash my smile of acknowledgement to all the known strangers near her cubicle. Suddenly I hear discussion in next cube jump to the weekend plan. It's definitely Friday today…. Things like this drives me crazy!

I know deep down inside, that I never forgot things, but I also knew memory is a tenuous thing, gossamer thread of mind. Today left me with a sinking feeling. Not only did I not finish working, I was coding out of point also. I didn’t even have such bad vibes for Torts. Well, the turbulence has passed; know that colleagues will not remember this for long. But where is my Thursday?

Thought it would have been so good, if there been a time machine and I could have altered just this incident from my life. Sorry, I didn’t have the luxury.

(Are you thinking this story looks like a bollywood movie "SUNDAY" of big "#$%^%$#" Indian actress, Ayesha Takia. Yeah, you are right)

(Are you thinking why didn't I just saw my laptop clock? Well the motherboard battery got drain. Its a long process to take approval of any hardware change in my company)

(Are you thinking why the hell I didn't checked the date on internet? Well, Let me confess; I forgot, I am an Id10t.)

Nirnay
nirnay@techValens.com

"Jai Hind!"

"Jai Hind!", it means "Victory to India" or "Long live India". The Indian revolutionary Dr. Champakaraman Pillai introduced the salutation. It has since captured the imagination of Indians and has been immortalized by Subhash Chandra Bose as the battle cry of the Indian National Army.

I used this salutation most commonly at the end of my communications to refer my patriotism towards India, to remind them (to the person to whom I am communicating) the diaspora of India's strength and power.... and why not, India invented chess, India invented the number "zero" etc etc.

One day I conclude my chat with one of my friend as usual with Jai Hind!. I kept waiting for her to turn back and say the two words, but none came. I said heyy you, what happened to Jai Hind? Then she pinged next day and asked “Nirnay, still you say jai hind”... grrrrr..... (I thought to Slap this Bitch!!)

Before publishing, I discussed about this blog with my close mate, he said “baniyee, It is very easy to sit in AC office and think in this way”. I replied, "My dear friend, all the revolutions start from yourself. You can't change the world, but you can change yourself and make the difference."

The list of this Mutiny is endless.

I am sure, if you are reading this blog, you might be from those who commited TREACHERY, who didn't replied to my "Jai Hind!" sometime. And iff answer is yes, then you are now under my radar. Why don't you give your citizenship & go to Pa....an

OR

Start replying & vow to serve our Mother truthfully, faithfully and cheerfully in sun-shine and shower.

I want support of you guys and despots of India, to declare not replying of jai hind, a species of treachery that ought to be punished.

Jai Hind!
- Nirnay

Nirnay, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! From Nirnay.

It’s my birthday. Today I am 26, nostalgic.
"My childhood is past, but still present in time.
Because growing older is only a matter of time."

Looking back on my childhood, I can’t help but return to the one thing that’s been present, constant. Its family. I guess in a way my family's childhood has past too. My family has become adult, complicated. Complicated only because we are far from each other. Yet still always constant, changing but unchanging. Always there. Impervious to time.

I still have those memories with me… When I was a kid; dumbly standing in front of the class, in my new birthday dress gleaming and the whole classmates, standing, singing “Happy Birthday to you…” v.e.r.y. s.l.o.w.l.y and LOUDLY. Sing a syllable for a long time until the breath has gone. I'm smiling and thanking everybody while they pick their toffees from the box that I especially used to load the previous night with latest toffee from the TV Advertisement. Further years passed on… Birthday celebrations in college. The ritual of holding the birthday boy in the air and then kicking his ass "birthday bumps" and then treats at fast-food center.

Friends moved away choosing different geographical regions and different career paths and hence "Happy Birthday" calls and emails where the only things that kept the celebration on.

This year at the stroke of midnight, I was all available on gtalk and yahoo. With my phone on loud tone I was awaiting for birthday wishes to pour in – but none came… (I'm pathetic in remembering birthdays anyways, so it’s better not to expect either… Fair right???)

But sitting in my balcony… I even wanted to call some of my close friends in the middle of the night and ask them to wish me. I wanted to say….."Hey!!, Today is my birthday, I want you to wish me". I lost my sleep for the night and was left wondering why no-one is calling me?

I received, the first birthday wish by SMS at 2:00 AM, it read – "Nirnay, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! From Nirnay!” Ya, it’s only me, I SMS myself the first b'day wish. The message brought a BIG smile on my face. I know indeed there are a lot of people thinking about me but I guess they probably missed my birthday.

Morning I woke up with same happiness as always… Since it was Thursday I have to go to work. It was time for me, to CODE!! Happy Birthday Nirnay :)

If I wanted to be happy, I didn't need a day on the calendar to do it.

- Nirnay

WHERE'S YOU MUMMY!!

I remember my early days when as a child, my mom's had to serve as my alarm clock more than once. My mom would come in and gently wake me from peaceful slumber. And whenever my mom asked dad to wake me up. Yep, He smacked on the ass extremely hard. lol. Dad sure could learn a lot from Moms!

My mom started with love:
Beta uthao. (Getup honey)
That was the first stage.

Then, she said, offcourse with love again:
Nirnay beta utho. (Getup my honey Nirnay)
Ya, she added my name this time.

Then 3rd round is without any love:
Nirnay utho. (Getup Nirnay).
And I know she is now getting wild on me, but I just ignored her again.

Then, all the sudden she get rudely awakened by a loud and screeching noise.
Kutte uth-ja (Getup you dog)
What a morning to start off.


But the morning are changed, Now I were rudely awakened (at the ungodly hour of 8:15 am) by
either Alaram bell (the first thing I’ll think of every morning is: I hate my alarm).

Or, by my cell. You know, there are only 2 people on the planet that use my phone to reach me, my PM and best friend Salil (well, he is worst among all living organizm in this universe). So when phone rings, I dug out my phone from under the pillow. And as a normal person hold the phone to ear and go, “Hello?”. If its Salil then the only thing you can hear is; Oh, I must have pressed the keys wrongly. Sorry...... So he woke me because he pressed the wrong key! Grr!
And if its PM then the only thing you can hear is; Nirnay, I appreciate if you can make to the office early today. Early?? Grr!

Now no one’s gonna wake me up with love. Now no one brings me my cup of coffee every morning with just the right amount of cream and suger. No one back home waiting for you to come. I’m all alone. It’s like a fade to grey. I miss her every day.

I hate phone. I hate my alarm. I hate all alarms. WHERE'S YOU MUMMY!!

Nirnay

Thank You ISRO.

Everyone knows moon has always been part of our life. First, for the bachelor guys like me who try to impress there GF by comparing her with Moon. And Second, what another better proof than the recent successful unmanned Indian lunar mission, Chandrayaan-1 (Sanskrit for mooncraft). My fascination began when I was a child. I used to try and draw the moon and reproduce its features, though not too successfully, since I am not an artist. Singing Chanda-Mama song with friends...

I was extremely thrilled when the government announced in 2003 that India was planning an unmanned scientific mission to the moon. And then after 5 year of long wait ISRO announced that the D-day could be October 22, if weather permits.

But Why I am so excited?
October 22 is not even my birthDATE. I share my birthDATE 22nd Jan with Ben Moody (Guitarist), Daniel Wayne Smith (Actor) and Ben Eager (Skate hockey player) and I do share there qualities too. But now I want to share my BirthDAY 22nd with this precious mission.

On the night of October 21, I was readying to leave from the office. I told my manager and team members about the launch and told that I will leave early today. This is the first launch experience from any space program which will be streamed live on internet. I reached at home, I did ON my laptop and wifi, It was 7:00 PM (EST) (4:30 AM IST) and launch of Chandrayaan-1 lunar orbiter supposed to beginning at 05:50 IST. Waooo I am on time.

At exactly 4.40 am, the moon which was so far hidden by the dark clouds came out as though it was inviting Chandrayaan. A little while later the stars too became visible. The sky began to clear and at 5.50 am there was an announcement saying that the weather was a `go' for launch. At 6.20 am the ignition sequence was initiated and at 6.22 am sharp, perfectly on schedule, the four-stage mighty PSLV carrying Chandrayaan roared into life, lifted off the launch pad and rode into the skies in a plume of yellow flames.

It was a majestic sight. In a few seconds it disappeared into the clouds though we could hear the sound for a while. Eighteen minutes later the moon-bound Chandrayaan was placed in its initial orbit and the mission was declared a thumping success.

Critics say that the "Chandrayaan Mission was a waste of money and resources". "We can save poverty, jobs, resources, development...", these.... that....
Guys, Chandrayaan mission is having enormous benefit, among there will be two kinds of distinct advantages. The first being the technology transfer and increase in the utility of technology. The experiments done on the moon for its soil and other chemicals would improve chemical research in the country and might lead to breakthrough ideas in chemical industry which will improve the livelihoods of so many people. The technological transfer advantage is the amounts of money or other value add obtained by sharing this technology with other countries. Moreover, it allows ISRO to grab the limelight and showcase it workhorse PSLV engine - which can be a lucrative revenue stream when it starts doing paid-for launches.

I am now ready to watch Chandrayaan-Returns (Chandrayaan-II) in 2011. Three cheers to the people behind the mission. Thank You ISRO.

One Wish

Dear God,

Please grant me the ability to punch people in the face over standard TCP/IP or HTTP.

Yours,

Software Engineer

The Square Root of Three

The most awesome way to propose the girl, clever poem I’ve ever heard.

The Square Root of Three

I'm sure that I will always be
A lonely number like root three

The three is all that's good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight

Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic

I know I'll never see the sun,
as 1.7321

Such is my reality,
a sad irrationality

When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three

As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply

To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands

Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed

Movie: Harold & Kumar

Nirnay

Ho kahin bhi aag, lekin aag jalni chahiye

Ho gayi hai peer (peer matlab dukh) parvat si, pighalni chaahiye,
Is himalaya se koi ganga nikalni chaahiye.

Aaj yeh deewaar pardon ki tarah hilney lagi,
shart lekin thi, ki yeh buniyaad hilni chahiye.

Har gali mein, har shahar mein, har nagar, har gaon mein,
haath lehraatee hue, har laash chalni chahiye.

Sirf hungaama khada karna mera maqsad nahin,
saari koshish hai, ki yeh soorat badalni chahiye.

Mere seene mein nahin, to tere seene mein sahi
ho kahin bhi aag, lekin aag jalni chahiye.

-Dushyant Kumar

Our memories tend to be too short and our greed too much

Date: January 22, 2008

Its my B'day today, Do you wanna say me "Hey Nirnay, Happy b'day".... better you should remove "Happy" out of it. Why?? Indian stock market has lost almost 20 lakh crore rupees (20,00,000,00,00,000.00).

The drastic fall in the value of Indian shares took everything from us and/or from our near and dears. Some of us will go down under and never be able to get back to the market again but most will survive. The pain will linger for many months, maybe years. Every such debacle has lessons for us and the sooner we forget them the more we suffer. My parents had never invested in Indian shares, they said it was unsafe. But I thought, after everything I heard on TV and in the news, that this was the right place to put my money. Now I'm not so sure.

As per my knowledge my maximum Orkut friends to whom I am sending this mail are s/w engineers or attached to some kind of IT firms. The normal saving after tax and expenses are not more then 20k-30k per month, and we keep investing our life savings in these markets, hoping to make a pretty profit, and the result..... God is punishing us for our arrogance.

People should ask themselves why stocks like RNRL, Ispat and RPL have lost 50-70% of their value. It is simply because their stock prices had snapped all connection with underlying business fundamentals, earnings and value. 1. So next time you invest do proper fundamental analysis.2. Futures are time bombs in the hands of inexpert and inexperienced traders, so keep yourself away from Future.3. Keep away from your friendly stockbrokers, who are damn metric pass or BA/BCom. Don't call them, instead do your analysis.
"OR"
Feel happy to put money in a bank FD and then wait for one full year to collect that measly 8%, then the stock market which give you 20% every month and but returns one day with sins and washed away your blood. Do remember 21-22 January 2008, as history will repeat itself again in the future.

Offfff, our memories tend to be too short and our greed too much.

-Nirnay

My "Big Bang Theory"

Today I will cover “The Big Bang Theory” with live example of my accident. Students used to complain about any existence and evidence of this theory, So we start the lecture with definition:

The Big Bang Theory is the cosmological model (Cosmology is the study of motions of the celestial bodies - HUMMER) of the universe that is best supported by all lines of scientific evidence (police report) and observation (car’s rear portion & snaps).

Big Bang Theory - Common Misconceptions
There are many misconceptions surrounding the Big Bang theory. For example,
1. It was a giant explosion. NO, I was just reversing car with the speed of 5-10 mph.
2. People imaging the galaxies boundary just appear somewhere in the way. No, boundary wall exists at the apartment from decades.

Big Bang Theory - Evidence for the Theory
1. First of all, Hubble's Law in records. (my police record)
2. Second, Microwave Background radiation (my insurance premium increase notification)
3. Finally, the abundance of the "light elements". (abundance of my snaps on Orkut)

Big Bang Theory - The Only Plausible Theory?
Is the standard Big Bang theory the only accident consistent with these evidences? No, it's just the most popular one. Internationally renowned Astrophysicist George F. R. Ellis explains: "People need to be aware that there is a range of accidents that could explain these observations."

With the end of this lecture, feel free to shoot me with your questions on Big Bang Theory.

Nirnay

This was a terrible occasion in which so many innocent were slaughtered, for which I feel ashamed and I feel sorrow.

The Jallianwala Bagh Massacre, also known as the Amritsar Massacre, was named after the Jallianwala Bagh of Amritsar where, on April 13, 1919, British Indian Army soldiers fired and placed the fatalities at over 1000.

Like British Indian Army killed hundreds of unarmed-defenseless Indians, the unemployment rate soared to a nearly five-year high in August after continuous rounds are firing at major companies on employees. The U.S. economy has lost 6,05,000 jobs so far this year.
With almost unseemly prescience, the organizations see the people on the front lines as expendible cogs in their machine. They don’t need those parts for a while. So they will just off-load them and then replace them with new ones when they need them again.

After Jallianwala Bagh Massacre "Viceroy Chelmsford" characterized the action as "an ERROR of judgment,". And here CEO of big organizations characterized the action as "based on deteriorating global economic conditions". I don't have to be freedom fighter to know the reason of Jallianwala Bagh OR an economist to know the economy is weak.

In many cases the executives of the very companies cutting jobs and closing plants then go on to receive fat annual bonuses, often driven by the very cuts they made – and we wonder why people think badly of business?

I am not against companies making profits; anyone who doesn’t see profitability as an important objective of business shouldn’t run a company – profitability finances operations, including paying salaries. Unfortunately, business seems to hold a share in the good and shoulder the bad mentality towards their “rank and file” employees.

The Jallianwala Bagh is a cruel reminder of how hundreds of innocent Indian men, women and children were killed by General Dyer even after 89 years. I guess we will remember this time as well.

I am waiting "with hope" for the day when the executives of a large organization announce that they are taking a 50% pay cut and will forgoes all bonuses in the foreseeable future before they choose to close one plant and let one employee go.